I like it when you smile, but I love it when I'm the reason
by ArtemisApollo97
Summary: She didn't want to fall in love, not even a little bit. But at some point, he smiled and now they are starting to realise they're not as sneaky as they thought.
1. Chapter 1

**I own nothing but my OCs. This** _ **is**_ **set at Frazel's wedding, but it is mostly Leoisa. And this is partially why I had disappeared for so long. I've been working on this to almost 27000 words. Might carry it on as one long fic or might break it up into smaller fics. Haven't decided yet.**

* * *

Louisa gave a double thumbs-up. Annabeth and Piper tutted at her. "What? Ya'll know I ain't good with dresses. Sorry Hazel." Luckily, the bride found it funny. Louisa stuck her tongue out at the bridesmaids, caught off guard when Hazel touched her elbow.

"Confession time." Piper grinned. Louisa squinted at her. "We've got you one too."

"Ya got me a what too?" In response, Annabeth plucked at her skirts, smirking. "Ah hell no." The dresses Piper and Annabeth wore were a silky material of pastel blue, bunched at the waist and tumbling to their knees, a rounded neckline melting into two straps over the shoulders. It companioned well with their fairer hair, which Piper had fashioned into an eloquent twisted bun with curls tickling their necks. Louisa's hair was not as fair or as tame and dresses were not her thing. Especially figure-hugging ones. Warning bells thundered in her mind, clanking relentlessly when they pulled a matching dress from the cupboard.

"You can't wear your usual get-up at Frazel's wedding!" Piper insisted.

"And don't come out with any bull about guarding the place. We're in New Rome, there are legions everywhere." Annabeth flipped her a stern look. "You need a day off and Hazel wants you to be a bridesmaid." Louisa flexed her fingers.

"Oh, Lou, please." Hazel pulled on her arm. "As a wedding gift to me? Please?" She smiled sweetly, golden eyes wide and pleading. If anyone else tried that, Louisa would have put her foot down with them under it. Hazel… had privileges.

"I hate you." Louisa told them. Hazel beamed. "Lemme go loo first though."

"OK." Hazel agreed, crushing her cousin in a grateful hug. "If you do a runner, we'll ban you from the buffet."

"I hate you more." Louisa wiggled free and left, trying not to hurry herself. She could hear them chattering excitedly behind the door, cursing as she started down the hall. "Dammit dammit dammit." Delving into her pocket, she decided to ring Leo. Leo was smart. He would know what to do.

"'Lo?" Leo answered. She could hear his smile in his tone.

"Where are you?"

"My room? Why?"

"Anyone with ya?"

"No. Also why?"

"Two minutes. Don't move." Louisa hung up and picked up her pace. Leo had left the door open a fraction, letting her slip in. He was sat on his bed, confused. "Slight problem." She told him, pushing the door shut firmly.

"Oh?"

"Ya know that lil' _tiny_ thing we're hidin' from everyone?"

"Lil' tiny thing you're harbouring in there?" He pointed at her stomach. "I've heard of it. Why? Does someone know?"

"No, but they might." Louisa sighed, pushing her hands through her hair. Leo rose, holding his arms out. Louisa crossed into them, grumbling Greek curses into his shoulder. "Apparently, I'm one of Hazel's bridesmaids. Yeah, I know." She added at his bewilderment. "I have ta wear a dress, _but_ that means they're gonna see."

"Is that so bad?"

"I thought you were lookin' forward to the, quote-unquote, 'prank-of-the-century'?"

"I was. I mean, I am. But I would also like to just be us… anywhere, you know? It will at least stop Piper giving me advice on how to get you to date me." Seeing her hesitation, he touched her cheek gently. "How bad will it be?" As form of answer, she clenched a handful of her shirt against the small of her back. "Ah." Leo said. The T-shirt was just loose enough to give her the covering she required; anything tighter made things a bit… _obvious._

His hands dropped to feel the bump, excitement flooding his veins. A nudge on his palm and his hair went up in flames. "Sorry, sorry." He hastily patted the fire. "But you felt that too, right?" He crouched down. "Hello in there." He beamed, passing a hand over her tummy again. At another little kick, "Padre loves you too." Louisa's hand in his hair. She let her T-shirt fall back into place, though Leo's hand remained, counting the kicks. "What do you want me to do?"

"I don't know." She sighed. Leo gripped her hand and pulled himself up, looping his arm round her waist. The baby pressed a kick to his hip. Her thumbs traced over his upper arms, brushing the material of his sleeves back and forth. He was not built like any of his more Hephaestian siblings, but the muscle he did have was warm and lean, somewhat reassuring in sync with his renewed wood-smoke musk.

"Talk to me, chica." He requested softly, laying a gentle kiss on her forehead. His lips tickled her skin as he talked, "What's on your mind?" Her voice was barely audible, trembling. Leo had to duck his head to hear.

"Percy will go for you."

"You don't kn- we might catch him in a good mood." Leo hunched his shoulders. Her fingers dug into his arms. "Have you not got a jacket or something? If you're so worried-" Loud knocking cut him off. Leo sighed. He could see the irritation flit through her eyes as she drew away. Leo kept hold of her hand, shining a smile. "It'll be alright." He breathed. "You came by for food." From his tool belt, he gave her a Mars bar.

"Leo!" Jason knocked again. Leo answered with a silly noise of protest. "Hey." Jason smiled. "Hey, Lou. Oy, where's my chocolate?"

"'Uck o'." Louisa manged around her mouthful.

"Duck off." Leo translated, ignoring her annoyed grunt. "What's up?"

"Well, Lou told the women she was going to the bathroom. They said to tell you that you know what will happen if you do a runner." Jason shot his cousin a quizzical look over Leo's head. Louisa shook her head fiercely, waving her Mars at him. "Fair enough. I have been told to wait and walk you back though." Louisa swallowed and scowled.

"Sounds great." Leo said before she swore again. "How's Frank?"

"Hiding as a gerbil under the dresser in his room. Could you try talking to him?"

"Yeah. Sure." Jason stood aside to let Leo pass. Louisa glowered, stuffing her face with the last of the treat. The baby wiggled about, as it always did when she had chocolate. Its favourite was a Kit Kat.

* * *

"Lou, come on! We've got ten minutes!"

"Have you put the dress on the right way around?" Piper called, drumming her fingers on the door. Louisa made a face at her reflection, eyeing up the window again. Annabeth would have had that covered. Short of smashing the ceiling, floor or a wall, Louisa was running out of options. "Lou, I still need to do your hair!"

Louisa turned slightly and sighed. The dress was tight anyway, but it pulled on her midriff. It probably would have fit her better a few months ago.

Cursing she slung her- well, Leo's jacket- around her shoulders, gathering the rest of her clothes. That would help a little, but she couldn't walk around all afternoon with dirty clothes hiding a baby bump no-one knew about.

"I don't like this." She told them, opening the door.

"We thought as much, so we got you this." Piper held out a white soft cotton cardigan. "I know white doesn't stay white with you, but it's a wedding." Louisa took it with her left, careful to hold her clothes in her right. She dragged her feet across the room, grumbling. To change, she kept her back to them, dropping her clothes and quickly swapping her- Leo's- jacket for the new garment.

"You need to stop going to Leo for chocolate." Hazel remarked. Louisa folded the cardigan over her front, crossing her arms to keep it in place. "It goes right to the hips." Hazel poked her, smiling bemusedly. Louisa felt the baby hit back, biting her lip. "Go and sit. Piper needs to do your hair." When Louisa didn't move, Hazel tugged on her wrist.

"I still don't like you." She muttered, plonking herself down. Piper popped up, grinning. She _never_ got to play with Louisa's hair.

"Lou, relax. You look nice. And you'll look even nicer when I'm done." Piper pulled Louisa's hairbands out, accepting a brush from Annabeth. Louisa didn't relax. She sat with her arms still hiding herself with her outer layer, shoulders hunched, legs crossed at the ankles. They had given her black translucent tights to wear, but they were making her legs itch. Piper worked quickly, humming to herself and smiling every so often. Louisa hated this.

Piper held up a can. "Don't breathe." She said, squeezing her customer's shoulder. Louisa automatically demanded why. A second later, Piper was trying to gas her.

"It's hairspray!" Annabeth laughed, waving at Louisa in a meant-to-be comforting way. "Not everyone is out to attack you."

"Ya'd be surprised." Louisa muttered, coughing seconds later.

"Done." Piper beamed, chucking the can over her shoulder. Louisa stood and hopped away, searching frantically for fresh air. Faint music reached them. "Just in time too. Come on, Hazel, let's get you hitched."

* * *

Leo stood behind Frank. For some strange reason, he was the best man. He had Frank ask him four times before he realised it was a serious question.

"Are you sure you don't want Percy or Jason or Nico or literally anyone else up here?"

"Leo, we've been over this three million times. I asked you. Now shush."

"Why did you ask me though? You're not going to be sick, are you?" Leo fished in his tool belt. "My vomit bags are numbered. You get two, so make it worthwhile. Hey, _you_ asked _me_. You don't get to dish out judgemental looks." The music changed. Leo frowned up at an overhead speaker, taking a step to the right. If that fell, it could crush some other poor bugger.

"Oh gods…" He heard Frank say.

"Dude, you can turn into a dragon. Be the dragon. In spirit. Do not murder innocent people, breathe fire or hoard shiny expensive things in a dark cave."

"Look at her." Frank sighed dreamily. Leo looked round. Hazel was walking herself down the aisle, festooned in a flawless white dress. The skirts floated about her, cascading to the floor, reminding Leo of a cloud. Holding her train was something a bit more interesting.

Louisa had the end of the train bundled to her stomach, staring straight ahead. She wore the same blue dress as Piper and Annabeth, except they had no cardigan. And Louisa wore no shoes. Judging by her fellow bridesmaids' footwear, heels had been the subject of dispute.

Her eyes came into focus and she made a face at Leo. Leo smiled.

"She's… great." Frank said.

"Mmm." Leo hummed distractedly. Frank looked at him, but Leo wasn't paying attention to him. "Yeah, pretty great."

"If you like her so much-"

"Mm? What?" Leo puzzled, coming back to earth. "What?"

"Lou."

"What about Lou?"

"Just ask her out."

"And be hung, drawn and quartered by Percy?" Leo shook his head. "It's your day, Frank. Look." He gestured. Frank turned back as Hazel climbed the steps. Leo looked to Louisa. She billowed Hazel's train and then stood to one side, hands over her stomach. Leo bit his lip, a secretive smile tipping up the corners of his mouth. A phantom pressure on his palm, his smile broadened. He couldn't wait to have his little Valdez.

Glancing around, he saw his friends from Camp Half-Blood, quite a few people from Camp Jupiter that he only knew by sight. Reyna and Nico were sat in the front row, playing with a paper chatterbox. Sally and Paul were next to them, Tobias and Max with them; Max, still tiny, asleep in his nana's arms. Jason was next, waving Piper over. Percy and Annabeth were busy getting everyone seated. Grover was going back and forth, adding final additions to the decorations. It was warmly lit in the venue, artfully decorated. Flowers perked up everywhere as music flowed from Grover's panpipes. It even seemed to brighten the guests, everyone in their best, all suited and booted, some women were crying already.

Leo's wedding had not been like this. It had been him, Louisa and the priest to marry them. There was _nothing_ like this. Sighing, he decided it could happen. In another life.

Annabeth and Piper appeared, standing either side of Louisa. Piper wiped at her eyes. Hazel took Frank's hand, beaming. Frank went a little pink-faced, but he couldn't stop grinning either. Leo smiled over at Louisa, who grimaced in response.

Leo did his best to focus on the ceremony, listening when the happy couple spoke their vows. He mentally recited the vows he had performed. His thoughts drifted as the minister spoke. Louisa was in his line of sight, still had her hands over the bump only they knew about. Leo smiled.

"Do you, Fai Zhang, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

"And do you, Hazel Levesque, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"And no-one shall object to this union?"

"I object to this dress." Leo heard Louisa murmur. Annabeth elbowed her. Everyone else was silent.

"Then I am happy to pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." Leo led the cheers. Piper showered the couple with confetti and whooped delightedly.

Frank and Hazel were chased out. Leo and Louisa hung back.

"That went well." Leo smiled. "Feeling OK?" She shot him a dirty look. "What? What did I do?"

"The longer I wear this, the more painful it is. Don't look so surprised, Valdez. It's ya own damn fault. Everythin' hurts, it's all…" She flailed her hands up and down, indicating 'everythin', "different." She finished, unimpressed.

"Hey. Takes two to tango."

"I hate you." She fumed at the floor. Leo laughed.

"Come on. I'm sure you'll want cake."

* * *

"If you keep eating like that, you'll balloon." Annabeth shook her head. "Lou, that's your _fourth_ slice of cake. _And_ I saw you eating a plate piled high with _all_ sorts ten minutes ago."

"I'm hungry. Go away."

"It's no wonder you've gained weight."

"I thought you were smart. Go away." Louisa flicked her fingers from around her fork, a half-hearted shooing motion. When Annabeth settled a fierce portrayal of disapproval on her, Louisa turned her back. She polished off the last of her cake and helped herself to an orange. And some ham and cheese sandwiches. And sausage rolls, a banana, a handful of chips, a small bunch of grapes, Doritos, and an iced bun. Annabeth didn't look impressed so Louisa added a chocolate éclair to the equation and went to find Leo.

Her husband was at the other end of the buffet table, sharing one of his terrible jokes with Frank. He didn't bat an eyelid at her haul, but the newlywed clearly thought she had lost the plot entirely.

"Where are your shoes?"

"In a bin somewhere." Louisa shrugged, slapping Leo's hand away as he pinched a Dorito. "Congrats, bro."

"Thanks, Lou." Frank puffed out his cheeks, exhaling. "I'm so glad I didn't screw that up." He laughed nervously.

"Where's the wife then? Lost her already?" Louisa grinned devilishly.

"No, she's arguing music choices with Piper." Frank pointed. "I thought it best if I stayed out of it. Leo was just telling me 'happy wife, happy life'. I thought… sorry, Leo, sorry, but a bit weird. You don't have a wife."

"I'm prepared for when I do. Don't pick."

"I'm gonna find a table." Louisa excused herself, taking a seat by the window. She could see out to New Rome from here. Leo joined her a minute later, bearing drinks. Louisa took the orange juice with a murmur of thanks, downing half in one go. "Beth thinks I'm fat."

"I was going to say hungry." Leo nodded at her food.

"See, I said that." Louisa huffed, taking a large bite of her éclair. "But no. I'm just _fat_."

"I thought that sort of thing didn't bother you?"

"It don't. People buttin' in where they ain't wanted bothers me."

"Give it a while. They'll understand." Leo patted her arm. She scoffed disbelievingly, grumpily picking her way through her food.

* * *

"Nico, can I ask you something?"

"If it's a favour you're after, no."

"I just want your opinion on something." Annabeth assured. Nico accepted a drink from a passing waiter and motioned to her to continue. "OK, you know how you can sense when someone's dying?"

"Rings a bell." Nico grumbled. "Why? Who's dying? You're not going to kill Percy, are you?"

"No. I want to know if you can sense the opposite." That caught Nico short, throwing more questions in his mind than answers. Annabeth sighed irritably. "I'm trying to be careful what I say here, it's not the easiest thing to talk about with Percy floating around." Annabeth could see her husband congratulating the happy couple with hugs all round. Nico followed her gaze and then looked away.

"Let's talk outside." He said. "I'm intrigued."

It was vastly quieter outside. Nico sipped his beverage, quirking a brow at the blonde.

"It's just a feeling at the minute, I'm not a hundred percent sure just yet. I need more evidence-"

"Of what?"

"Noticed anything weird about Lou?"

"Aside from the fact that she can eat for America, has an attitude the size of Russia with a violent streak and a temper to match all of which is confined in that short as hell body? No, not really. Why?" Annabeth started to speak when the door burst open and Louisa ran past, hand over her mouth.

"Hold that thought." Annabeth said, running after her sister-in-law. Louisa disappeared into the toilets. By the time Annabeth got there, she was locked in a cubicle, bringing up pretty much everything she had consumed. "Lou?" Annabeth knocked on the stall door. "You OK?"

"Peachy." Louisa groaned.

"I told you that you had too much cake." Annabeth tapped her finger on the door. Louisa got caught under another bout of sickness, her brash response going with it.

"Not cake."

"Oh?"

"Think I'm comin' down with somethin'." The loo roll rattled in its canister. The toilet flushed a second later.

"Maybe you should go back to your room and rest." Annabeth suggested. She stood back, waiting for Louisa to come out. When she didn't, she bounced her knuckles on the door again. "Sorted?"

"No. What'd ya want?"

"I can't check up on my husband's sister now?"

"No. Go away." The door behind Annabeth opened and in came Piper.

"Hey, I saw Lou run out. Everything OK?" The bathroom door hadn't even shut and Hazel was there too, holding the skirts of her dress carefully.

"Lou?" They heard Louisa grumble obscenities.

"Could ya'll just fuck off?"

"Lou, we're trying to help." Annabeth replied heatedly.

"Well, ya ain't helpin'. Go _away_."

"Fine." Annabeth snapped, jerking her head at the other two. She let them leave, whipping out her Yankees cap. Piper and Hazel pretended to talk to her as they went down the hall. Annabeth stood in the corner, not daring to breathe.

Louisa stayed where she was for almost five minutes. Annabeth's ADHD sighed in relief when the lock clicked. Louisa had taken her tights off and booted them across the floor, muttering angrily to herself. She washed her hands at the sink, splashed cold water on her face and rinsed her mouth out a few times.

Annabeth scrutinised her carefully. Louisa glared at her reflection, swore some more. The plumbing started to rattle, so she took her hands off the basin.

Someone knocked.

"It's me!" Leo called. He cracked the door open a fraction, standing the wrong side for Annabeth to see him. "You OK?" One of the taps exploded, a jet-stream of water slapping into the ceiling above. "Ah."

"Stop it." Louisa fumed at the eruption. The water shut off just as quickly, but the pipes were shaking like leaves on a windy day. This only annoyed Louisa more, Annabeth could see her jaw working irritably.

"Lou." Leo's voice was reasonable, calming. "Lou, don't. It's New Rome. You know how sensitive these guys get about their stuff." He pushed the door open further, still not coming in. "What can I do?"

"I want _my_ clothes."

"Give me two minutes. I'll get them. Just don't flood San Francisco while I'm gone, OK, chica?"

If Annabeth was a cartoon, her jaw would have hit the floor. Leo ran off. The door swung shut. Louisa had let him go- alive, unhurt, with all his skin and organs intact, not buried alive- and there was no _way_ she could mishear 'chica'. She was even _smiling_ at it, although the smile faded with Leo's footsteps. Her feet moved almost of their own accord, bare feet sliding over the laminated flooring as she began pacing restlessly, one hand on the small of her back. Annabeth wanted to have it out with Louisa there and then, but she wanted to know more, would know more on Leo's return. Her curiosity won out, but the wait was agonising.

Louisa's agitation grew, filling a sink to play with the water. It occupied her, albeit half-heartedly. Annabeth started chewing her lip, a hollow feeling twisting into her gut. Louisa stood straight for the first time that afternoon, wearing her cardigan as she should, rather than pulling it round herself. At first, Annabeth had thought Louisa had been trying to hide the fact she was wearing a dress. She couldn't have been more wrong.

It was something else altogether.

Leo knocked, budging the door with his hip to squeeze Louisa's normal clothing in. Louisa didn't even bother using a cubicle, shedding the top article and tossing it aside. She even asked Leo to unzip her. Annabeth felt a tad uncomfortable, face warming. The pair in front of her moved so easily together, parrying insults, completely unfazed as Louisa kicked the dress to one side. Annabeth's hunch was being confirmed right now, verified more so when Leo cursed Louisa in Spanish. This was closely followed by, "You always play dirty." Louisa stuck her tongue out, slipping her T-shirt over her head.

"Ya shouldn't be watchin' me then."

"I'm entitled." Leo blew a raspberry. Louisa copied, hopping about to pull on her regular tracksuit bottoms. "I brought socks." Leo bounced them off her head.

"Funny." Louisa remarked. "I hope ya kept my food safe."

"In my room." Leo confirmed. "You can get it later." He pushed the door wider open to let her out. Annabeth hurried after them, slipping out before the door shut.

The pair were walking down the corridor. Annabeth had seen them side by side thousands of times. Never had she seen Leo with his arm around her shoulders _and_ Louisa's arm around his waist. She could hear Louisa laughing and they started quarrelling again about something, to which Leo cracked first, cackling.

Louisa stopped in her tracks, free hand going to her stomach. A moment passed and then she reached for Leo's hand. Leo hopped from foot to foot eagerly, flames dancing in his hair. And then he did something that dealt the final piece of evidence.

He kissed Louisa.

And she let him.


	2. Chapter 2

**To EllaAnnieGrace- Sorry! I know I just sort of plonked the beginning in the middle of nowhere :P It's a working progress, just bear with me! ^_^**

* * *

"You should go 'n' join the party, Valdez. Ya best man, ya got a speech 'n' stuff ta do." Leo made a face. Louisa pushed her fingers into his hair, playfully scratching at his head. "I'll be fine."

"Is that because my room is nicer than yours?" He smirked, sliding his fingers over her knuckles before encircling her wrist. Louisa said nothing. Leo took that as a win and kissed her palm. "I'll stay a bit more, just to be on the safe side."

"You just want cuddles."

"That too." Leo smiled. He was sat in the middle of his bed, Louisa on his lap. He had found a game to play with their baby- for every kick, he would poke back. Louisa squirmed every time he did, making him laugh. She tried to coax him out of this game by flopping back. Leo fell with her, arm trapped under her, but it was quite nice to lie like that. Him on his side, her on her back, her legs looped over his. The baby kicked about at this adjustment. Leo held his hand over the bump for a moment, gently laying it on her lower stomach.

"What're ya doin'?" Louisa questioned.

"I'm testing something."

"If ya set me on fire, I'm throwin' you out that window." She pinched his nose playfully. Leo shook his head and snorted, enticing a bemused piggy sound from her too. "Fine." Her head dropped back onto the pillows. The increased warmth from his hand was easing the cramping pain in her abdomen, but it was simultaneously encouraging the baby to wiggle around more. Leo waited patiently, resting his head next to hers. He grinned broadly when he felt a tiny presence against his hand, some more, rather incessant hitting.

"Just like your mama." He said proudly.

"I beg ya pardon?"

"What? It seems like they have your violence already."

"Fuck off." Louisa turned her head away. Leo pressed a sweet kiss to her neck, drawing her attention back around. "What'd I tell you?" She warned.

"Ah, you love me too much. You'll miss me."

"Fathead."

"I need my arm back." He was getting pins and needles in the trapped limb. Louisa groaned, but rolled over, obliging. Leo moved onto his back, shaking his hand and waggling his fingers to get the feeling back. "Hey, you OK?"

"My back hurts." She muttered into his pillow.

"On it." Leo assured. He warmed both his hands this time, sneaking them under the back of her T-shirt. She continued to complain until he started massaging circles into her lower back. "See? You're so whingy."

"I'd batter you if that weren't helpin'."

"I'm not a fish." Leo replied simply. She snorted and hid her face in the pillow. Leo leant forward slightly, hearing a very muffled _I hate you_. "Love you too, chica." She shifted, crossing her arms under her and using them as leverage.

"No, keep goin'. I'm just tryin' not ta squish Bubba."

"Yes, I'd like a baby, not a pancake."

"Ooh, pancakes." Louisa's eyes found his over her shoulder.

"Massage or pancakes?" Leo said simply. She hummed, looking back down at the pillow in thought.

"Massage." She eventually decided. Leo nodded. A comfortable silence floated down on them, like a blanket on a winter's day. Leo was running a list of names through his mind, humming an old lullaby to himself. She only moved once again, getting him to apply some of his magic to her sides as well. The baby kept kicking him, so much so, he almost got the feeling he wasn't wanted.

Someone knocked on his door, sharply pulling him from his thoughts. Louisa moaned at the intrusion, rolling onto her side and bundling a pillow in her arms. It took Leo a second, but she had fallen asleep. He got up carefully, patting her hip when she stirred. Another knock. Leo bit his thumb, silently cursing in his home tongue.

"Hold on!" He called. Louisa told him to shut up. Leo pulled the covers over her, tucking them around her. "I'll be as quick as I can." He whispered, kissing her temple. She mumbled incoherently. More knocking. Leo answered it that time, stepping out and pulling the door to behind him. "Frank." Leo smiled. "Sorry, I was in the bathroom."

"Oh. Sorry." Frank wrung his hands. "Are you alright? I've been looking all over for you."

"Me? Oh, I'm fine." Leo waved it off. "I just… um, I just had to come up and get my speech for you. You know, my best man's speech. Left it on the side. Clever me, huh?" Frank relaxed slightly.

"That's good. That… that you're alright. I heard Lou wasn't feeling too great. Hope she doesn't pass it onto us; that's one wedding gift I could do without."

"Frank Zhang, was that a joke?"

"I tried." Frank hunched his shoulders. "Jokes are your department." Leo nodded once, as if to _damn straight._ Frank smiled feebly. "You haven't made the speech anything… weird, have you? I would like for Hazel to stay my wife rather than realise she's married a complete and utter idiot."

"Hey." Leo patted his arm, the highest point he could reach. "Annabeth married an idiot. Piper will marry an idiot. Lou- Marrying idiots, it's what these girls do." Frank's brow furrowed. "What?"

"What was that about Lou?"

"Oh, it's… me and… my wishful thinking." Leo shrugged.

"I seriously think you should just ask her."

"If Percy doesn't kill me, Lou will. And she's the nice one." Frank scoffed disbelievingly, eyes widening. "Well, to me she is. She loves me really."

"OK, Valdez, if you say so."

"Have a little faith, Zhang." Leo pouted. Frank shook his head, laughing softly. He gripped Leo's shoulder.

"With all seriousness though, Leo- if your line of 'wishful thinking' includes marriage, that's… that's big. Maybe just talk it over with Percy before you do anything crazy. Percy's a good guy, he'll understand." Leo pressed his lips together. That would be a fun conversation- _hey Percy, do you think it'll be alright if I married and knocked up your sister? Oh, really? Great, 'cos I've already done that._

"I'll think about it." Leo said stiffly.

"Well, I guess that's a start." Frank's hold momentarily tightened and then vanished altogether. "I'll catch you in a bit, Leo. But… do give it some thought. I've seen how you look at her-"

"You don't think she has, do you?" Leo asked, feigning worry. Frank, bless him, seemed to buy it.

"She may have noticed, but you know Lou. She's so oblivious to that sort of thing. She'll probably think you're going boss-eyed or growing a second head or something." Leo hummed in agreement. Frank smiled and took his leave. Leo waited until he disappeared around the corner before going back in. Louisa had kicked the covers off, a pillow under one leg and an irritated look dragging on her features. Leo climbed back in beside her.

"Hey." He said softly. She opened her eyes, blearily staring up at him. It took her a moment, but she recognised him eventually, holding a hand up. Leo took it, kissing her fingers. "That was Frank. I'll have to go down in a bit."

"Mm-mm." She managed the minutest of headshakes. "Stay."

"'Til you go to sleep." Leo promised quietly. His fingers gave the barest of feather-light touches as he brushed her hair back from her face. "I'll come back as soon as I can." She made a face at this, but sleep pulled her as soon as she closed her eyes. Leo waited. Her expression was still tight. It took a bit of tossing and turning for her to get as comfortable as she could. Leo gathered spare pillows and pressed them in a line against her back, tenderly sliding one under her head. Her arm cradled her stomach, hand splaying over it. A smile eased into existence, adorning her lips. Leo lay a gentle kiss on the corner of her mouth, bundling the covers along her make-shift back support. "Back in a bit." He whispered in her ear. "Don't eat my chocolate."

* * *

Hazel and Piper gaped at her. Annabeth looked from one to the other. After a minute, she snapped her fingers. "I know, that was my reaction too. What do we do?" Piper was still reeling, stammering over 'I- they- how- when- what-?' while Hazel fanned herself, worrying at her bottom lip. "This isn't helping." Annabeth hissed. "If Percy finds out, he'll go _mental_."

"Ooh, that's true." Piper pressed her fingers to her lips. She looked ready to say more, but the shocked stuttering returned. She simply shook her head and passed the buck to Hazel with a sheepish glance.

"Have you asked either of them about it?" She inquired. Annabeth shook her head. "Maybe if we pulled them up on it- I mean, you _saw_ them. They can't deny that, surely? That does explain a few things though."

"I know, right?" Annabeth pulled on her hair. "I had a go at Lou for being greedy, but it _wasn't_ greed. It was _cravings_. How did I not see that?" She stomped her foot in frustration, uttering something foul. Hazel gasped and tutted, laying a sharp pinch on Annabeth's arm. "Sorry, sorry. You're a mean pincher."

"I know." Hazel grimaced.

"It's like a mother's meeting over here." Jason hugged Piper about the shoulders. "You all look deadly serious though. What's happened?"

"It's girl stuff, Sparky." Piper flashed a dazingly bright smile, patting him on the chest. Jason pursed his lips at this. "Oh, don't start with that. Mom-Friend." She accused.

"I don't even know why I bother with you."

"You love me. Now go and beat up Percy for me. Sorry, Beth," Piper shrugged apologetically once her other half had gone, "but it keeps them both busy." Annabeth _hmmph'_ ed. "Right, now I'm talking normally- _what the actual holy frick of all things potato_!"

"Ssh!" Hazel put a finger to her lips.

"Sorry. But oh my _gods_. I have been giving Leo advice on how to get Lou to go out with him for _months_ and that… that- insert bad word here, I'm not brave enough to swear in front of Hazel… oooh, I'm going to kill him." She started off. Annabeth grabbed her arm, hauling her back.

"No, we can't go in all guns blazing. Their defences will go up and we'll never get anything out of them."

"Not strictly true." Hazel intervened. "There's a baby, right? It's going to be great deal harder hiding a baby than it is a bump."

"What do you suggest then?"

"Drop big hints." Piper said instantly. "Watch the paranoia set in, make them suffer."

"As fun as that sounds, I'm sure Lou is supposed to be taking it easy. Especially after what happened with Bradley." Annabeth pointed out. Piper's argument died on her tongue, shoulders slumping defeatedly. There was a crash from the other side of the room, quickly followed by Reyna shouting- "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOU IDIOTS?" Annabeth groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Piper, if that's our idiots, I will end you."

"It could be somebody else's idiots." Piper tried.

It wasn't. Hazel was quite proud of her idiot for trying to stop the other two idiots, giving him a kiss on the cheek. Frank went pink, but he looked very pleased with himself. Piper sat Jason to one side of the room, crushing an ice pack to his head. Annabeth wasn't as nice and kicked Percy out to go and get himself cleaned up. She was left with a giggling Tobias- apparently, it had all been very amusing. Annabeth wasn't amused.

* * *

Leo had stopped in a bathroom outside the venue. He had to do his best man speech soon and stage fright had hit him like a freight train. He was leaning on the sink, scolding himself in Spanish, when someone came in.

"Oh. Hey, Leo. You OK?" Percy smiled.

"What happened to you?" Leo raised a brow. Percy felt his forehead.

"Jason. Doesn't matter. You look queasy." Percy ran the tap, melding the water around his hand. He relaxed when he held it to his head. Leo was mentally screaming at him. Frank's advice had been playing over and over in his mind, rattling alongside his speech.

Leo must have been given him a strange look as Percy leant over and felt his forehead. "You're not coming down with what Lou's got, are you?"

"I- no. No, that… won't happen."

"Yeah, sure. We all get ill, Leo."

"Mm." Leo picked at his lip. Percy flicked water at him.

"What's bothering you?"

"I'm just worried about this speech thing, that's all. I'll screw it up, I just know it."

"Have you got it written down?" Leo nodded. Percy smiled. "You'll be alright, Valdez." Leo grimaced. Percy thought it was his nerves and patted him on the shoulder. Everyone called him 'Valdez' at some point, but coming from Percy reminded Leo of Louisa. And of everything they were keeping from him. _If he ever finds out_ , a small voice chided, _you won't_ just _be hung, drawn and quartered._

Percy made sure the bruises on his head had gone down. "Right. Best go and apologise to the missus."

"Percy." Leo blurted.

"Mm?"

"I-" _I am in a very steady romantic relationship with your sister and have been for over a year now, but not only that, we live together and got married in secret and she's now five months pregnant with my child, but you know nothing about it because you scare me._

"Leo?"

 _Your sister is pregnant, she's with child, there's a bun in the oven, she's up the duff, I knocked your sister up…_

"I… think you would win in a fight with Jason, hands down. Don't tell him I said that though. His confidence is fragile."

"Right?" Percy looked confused, but boosted as well. "Leo, are you sure you're OK?" Leo nodded, not trusting himself to speak. His inner voice was shrieking now, firing everything they had never told Percy, getting increasingly inappropriate the longer Leo stayed quiet. Percy pointed out Leo's hair on fire. "Dude, what's wrong? Seriously."

"Nothing." Leo squeaked. His mind flashed to something _incredibly inappropriate_ and he felt his face warm. He also found he couldn't look Percy in the eye.

Percy didn't go away. He leant forward, squinting at Leo suspiciously.

"This doesn't have anything to do with a girl, does it?"

"Uh…" Leo replied brilliantly. _Your sister, your sister, your sister, YOUR SISTER._ "No?"

"Liar. Who?" Percy smiled interestedly. _YOUR SISTER_. _TWO WORDS, JUST SAY IT, YOUR SISTER. SIS-TER._ "Aw, come on, Leo, you've got to tell me who she is."

"How'd you know it's a she?" Leo mentally face-palmed. Of course his mouth would say that. Percy fixed a questioning, more attentive look on him. "Oh, hey," Leo glanced at his wrist, hurrying past his friend, "would you look at the time, I need to do my spee- ack!"

"Oh no you don't." Percy had grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt, dragging him back like he was some naughty kitten. "Since when did you swing that way?"

"Just now." Leo mumbled.

"Bro, you _can_ tell me." Percy smiled. Leo knew it was meant to be supportive, but his heart was going fast enough to need a Richter Scale. Gods knew how he hadn't spontaneously combusted.

"Speech." He said. "Need to speech. Got speech. Time speech."

"Leo, breathe."

"Can't." Percy made to say something. The door slammed against the wall and a bear crashed in.

"Frank!" Percy scolded. The bear shrank into his usual form, smiling sheepishly.

"Sorry, I panicked. That happens sometimes. Why are you strangling Leo?"

"I'm not- oh, sorry Leo." Percy let him go.

"Come on, Leo, it's speech time."

"Yay…"

* * *

Leo's hands were shaking as he stood up in front of everyone. Frank sat on his left, holding hands with Hazel. Nico was sat next to his sister, grimacing at his paper chatterbox. Annabeth and Percy sat beyond him. Next to Percy was an empty seat- Louisa hadn't come down, still napping. Leo envied her. To his right, Piper, Jason and Reyna. Piper and Reyna were leaning forward to talk around Jason, who had never looked so bewildered in his life.

Everyone else was spread out in the hall before him, seated at round tables. They were all staring at him.

"Leo?" Hazel called under her breath. "What's the matter?"

"Um…" Leo saw movement past her, feeling his heart soar. Louisa stumbled in, half asleep. She had stolen another of his jackets, but he didn't care right then.

Louisa noticed his attention and waved, yawning into her other hand. Percy pulled her chair out, smiling as she plonked unceremoniously down into it.

"Carry on." She mumbled sleepily, propping her head up on her hand. "I'm listenin', promise."

"Liar." Leo smiled. He looked down at his notes. "They say the best man's speech shouldn't last much longer than the groom so," he winked cheekily at Frank, who promptly went crimson, "that's me done." He got quite a few laughs for that one. Louisa snorted and fell into a fit of giggles, head on the table now. Percy patted her on the back. Leo cleared his throat and continued. "Pretty sure Frank wanted to kill me when we first met. I mean, who doesn't? But he's too nice to do that. And so is Hazel. So if any of you need a safe house…" He jerked a thumb at the pairing and nodded.

"Leo…" Frank flicked his arm.

"Right, right." Leo continued. He spun in a few jokes, to which Frank flicked him, but everyone just found it amusing. It was the Valdez-Zhang relationship at its finest. "To be honest, Hazel Zhang doesn't quite roll off the tongue like Hazel Levesque. Frank Levesque is a good name. Have you considered that, Franky?"

"Don't call me Franky."

"Love you." Leo shone a sweet smile. Louisa looked up at this, pouting slightly.

"What's wrong?" Percy asked quietly.

"I'm hungry."

"Here." Percy pushed a plate of biscuits towards his sister. "Careful though, don't want you being sick again." Louisa gave a murmur of thanks. Annabeth tutted, but said nothing.

"And that is why they're naming their first one Leo."

"We are not naming it Leo." Hazel retorted.

"It's a good name!" Leo insisted. "Anyway, if you're going to keep interrupting, I'm not going to tell you the best bit." Hazel exchanged looks with Annabeth. Leo noticed, thinking it strange. "To Frank and Hazel. The nice ones." He raised his glass. Others joined in. Louisa raised a half-eaten chocolate digestive. "And may they have… is it too cliché to say happy ever after?" He looked to Piper. "Merry finale sounds weird, but we'll go with that. Merry finale to Frazel!"

"Frazel." Louisa echoed, dozing on her hand again. Cheers and glasses went up. Louisa waved her bitten biscuit about, whining when it fell to the floor.


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own the song**

* * *

"That went alright, didn't it?"

"Eh. I was asleep most of it."

"Gee. Your support is overwhelming." Leo deadpanned. "Honest opinion?"

"I miss my biscuit."

"I can get you more biscuits."

"Not like that one."

"Honest opinion on the speech?" Leo prompted. Louisa hunched her shoulders. "Feeling any better?" She muttered something obscene. Leo hesitated. "Did the table feel weird to you?"

"It felt like a table. Uncomfortable, unsuitable pillow, not a great biscuit catcher."

"No, I mean the people at the table."

"I don't know. I was asleep." Her brow creased. "Why? Who needs beatin'?"

"No, no beating." Leo pointed a warning finger at her. Louisa went cross-eyed at it. "You're meant to be on your best behaviour." She pulled a face at this. "I got you a present."

"Ooh, pressie." Her eyes lit up. Leo took her by the hand and back to his room. "What's that? Ew, is that a dress?"

"It's a nice dress." Leo assured. "And it won't cut off your oxygen either." She hummed. Leo hung it up on the side of the bed. He had ordered this via Hermes. He knew what Louisa was like with a dress, but he couldn't resist. It matched his outfit.

The main colour was a deep, rich red, quickly followed by the blackest of blacks. The skirt went past the knees, multiple layers frilling over each other, alternating reds and blacks. There was a thick black band around the middle, from hips to lower chest, rimmed with scarlet, trails of this crimson spilling tendrils onto the frills. The jewel neckline was reasonable, the sleeves reached her wrists. Leo stood aside while she inspected it, nodding at how the skirt was longer at the back than the front, below knees to mid-calves, at the red shoulders and sleeves. She plucked at the material at the midriff and hummed, feeling her tummy. The baby must have kicked as she poked back with a fond smile.

Leo sighed. "I know it's a dress, but I thought… well, it's red and- you don't have to wear it if you don't want to, I just wanted to see what you thought." Louisa looked at him. Leo managed a small smile. He knew it was a long shot, but he still felt defeated.

"Hold on." Louisa told him. She took the dress and marched into the bathroom. Leo let his gaze flit about the room, searching for some form of airborne drug. When the coat hanger hit the floor, he decided this pregnancy was making her act weirder than he ever realised.

He was sat on the bed when she came back out. "Can't reach." She said, indicating the zipper on the back. Leo obliged, wrapping his arms round her waist when he was done. "It's alright, I guess."

"Is that the closest to an 'I like it' I'll get?"

"Probably." Leo took her hand and span her out, smiling as the skirts flared in a burst of colour and shadow. "I do get oxygen in this though. That's always a plus."

"And black is slimming." Leo smiled. "I take it you won't wear shoes though?"

"Not unless ya've got proper shoes." She planted her free hand on her hip. Leo's smile turned mischievous. "Ooh, what'd ya do?" As reply, he reached under the bed and passed up a white shoe box. Inside, black lace-up flats of a canvas-like material. Louisa slid them on, holding her foot up for him to tie her laces.

"You're so lazy." He remarked fondly, tightening the last knot. She stomped her feet when he was done. "Give us a twirl then."

"Only a lil' one. I feel dizzy as it is." Leo held his hands out. "If you say you'll catch me when I fall, I'm gonna lamp ya one."

"Will you tell me to lighten up?"

"I hate you."

* * *

Hazel gasped, smacking Piper and Annabeth's arms. At their befuddled looks, she pointed eagerly.

Leo and Louisa were back and Louisa was in a new dress. Her hair had been brushed and restyled, falling down her back in a classical French braid. Piper smiled proudly- she had taught Leo that. Louisa moved so much more easily in that dress than her bridesmaid one, fingers in Leo's hand as he led her into the hall, like a royal couple of old. Leo had scrubbed up well too, crisp scarlet shirt and smart black trousers and shined shoes. They looked no-one in the eye, moving through the crowd that parted for them in pure silence.

They joined the dancers in the centre, although no-one was dancing. Piper scurried to get the music back on, flipping through discs and frantically babbling at the daughter of Apollo in charge of tunes. "Got it!" She beamed. "Play this, play this!"

A mellow burst of music rippled from the speakers. Piper waved frantically at people to get them dancing again. Leo and Louisa stood to the side of the ring, his hand on her waist, hers on his shoulder. Annabeth looked past them, seeing her husband's confusion.

 _Your mouth is a revolver firing bullets in the sky,_ They stepped in perfect unison, _Your love is like a soldier, loyal till you die._ They swept around the floor, smiling at each other like no-one else was there. Fingers entwined, relaxed. _And I've been looking at the stars for a long, long time,_ Leo only had eyes for her. Louisa was pink-faced, Louisa was _blushing_ , a happy little smile adorning her lips. _I've been putting out fires all my life._ Sea green met rich brown, _Everybody wants a flame, but they don't want to get burnt,_ and that is where they stayed, _And today is our turn_

 _Days like this lead to, Nights like this lead to,_ a quick twirl together, hands flying to the opposite side of each other, _Love like ours, You light the spark in my bonfire heart,_ Leo was leading and then Louisa was leading, their footsteps were flawless, working around each other like they had done this a thousand times, heads bowed together, _People like us we don't, Need that much just someone that starts, Starts the spark in our bonfire hearts._

Leo lifted her hand up over her head, _This world is getting colder, strangers passing by,_ spinning her, still moving in the circle. She followed him, _No-one offers you a shoulder, no-one looks you in the eye_ , catching ruffles of her flaring skirt and throwing them back for effect, _But I've been looking at you for a long, long time, Just trying to break through, trying to make you mine,_ he pulled her closer, arm around her waist, grin cracking out. Her hand moved to the back of his neck, fingers in his hair. They flowed, quickly, elegantly, in sync. Flames curled in Leo's hair, along his arms. Louisa noticed, tipping her chin up. _Everybody wants a flame._ Water spiralled in from across the room, tailing her feet, _they don't want to get burnt,_ swirling around their legs, echoing their movements, following their routine, _Well today is our turn,_ twisting around tongues of fire, hot and cold, flashes of light and ripples pouring over them, shadows and rainbows.

He spun her as the music picked up, once, twice, three times, _Days like these lead to, Nights like these lead to,_ moving back as he did so, just as before, _Love like ours_. She followed in, catching him by the waist as he did her. _You light the spark in my bonfire heart._ They split, arms up, span on their own and reunited, _People like us we don't, Need that much just someone that starts, Starts the spark in our bonfire hearts,_ he swung her round, skirts billowing, her feet stepping over his deftly.

They broke apart again, only a few feet apart, when the song finished. Leo put his hand on his heart and bowed. Louisa curtseyed. They were laughing when they straightened, high fiving. All fire and water had calmed. Another song was playing but no-one was paying any attention. Dumbfounded silence lay heavy on everyone.

Frank was the first to do anything. He stood and moved, slowly, towards them. Leo held his hands behind his back, smiling up at his friend.

"What did you do?" Frank asked, his bafflement evident in his tone.

"Valdez charm." Louisa replied. Leo beamed at her. Frank blinked at her. "'N' he has better taste in dresses. Not namin' names."

"Thank you." Leo laughed. "And because she liked it, I managed to get a dance out of her. She really came down for the food, I'm sure." Louisa considered this for a moment, tapping her finger on her chin. She gave a 'meh' shrug and headed to the buffet table. "We kind of interrupted your wedding though. Sorry bud." Leo shook Frank's hand. "We'll be good now. Hazel, come here and dance with your husband!" Leo snapped his fingers. Hazel shuffled forward, looking Leo up and down. "What?"

"Did you drug her?"

"No. I have class." Leo excused himself and went to join Louisa. She hadn't even bothered getting a plate of her own, simply picking up the dish of chocolate éclairs. "Apparently, you're on drugs."

"No, but if I keep eatin' these, I'll be on a sugar high."

"Sounds fun." Leo made a face. Louisa made to say something, gaze sliding past him. Her jaw set stubbornly. Leo's elated mood vanished, sinking with his heart to the pit of his stomach. Glancing over his shoulder, he was met with Percy's grim expression. "Um… hello."

"A word." Percy's tone was set- Leo had no choice in the matter.

Percy and Louisa grabbed Leo by the arm at the same time, one either side of him. Leo meeped bravely. "I only want to talk to him." Percy insisted flatly.

"He'll tell me what ya say anyway, so ya may as well tell both of us now." Percy clenched his jaw. Leo could see his life ending at the hands of a twin dispute.

"No." Percy growled. Louisa opened her mouth to argue.

"Lou," Leo cut in, "it's OK. I'll go and… maybe he won't kill me as much." Leo held her gaze. He could see her stubborn streak flaring, but he knew how to stare her down.

"Ugh, fine. But," she reached around and jabbed her brother warningly in the chest, "ya hurt him 'n' I'll kill ya." Percy said nothing to this. Louisa squeezed Leo's arm and then she let go. Leo could see the reluctance in her face, saw her wring her hands. He saw nothing more, Percy marching him out. Leo stayed quiet as he was dragged down the corridor, past several doors. His mind raced. Percy could kill him, despite Louisa's promise. Percy didn't even need to try. He could snap Leo like a twig with just a thought if he wanted to. Leo had seen Louisa do it when things got severe, had seen her manipulate the water in a person. Luckily, he was learning to talk her out of that.

Percy was not Louisa and that didn't make Leo feel any better.

They ended up in the men's room again. Leo was suddenly aware of how much water surrounded him, sure his heart was going to fail on him any second. Percy let him go. Leo could feel bruises, but the rest of his arm had gone numb.

"As much as I want to…" Percy began carefully. "I'm not going to kill you."

"The murderous edge to your voice isn't very reassuring." Leo squeaked. Percy's eyes flashed dangerously. Leo decided to hold his tongue.

"Is that why you didn't tell me? When I asked if it was a girl?"

"You scare me."

"Good."

"I thought you knew I liked her."

"I thought you were over it."

"Oh. No… I just… I just got better at hiding it." Leo rubbed at his neck. Percy was working his jaw irritably. Leo had visions of him lunging forward and ripping his head clean off. He prayed that was worst case scenario. "Please don't kill me. Things are starting to look up for me." That comment went down like a lead balloon with Percy. He grabbed Leo by the front of the shirt, yanking him forward.

"You know what she went through, with Luke, with Bradley," Percy growled, "if you _ever_ make her do something she doesn't want to, you hurt her, do _anything_ that she doesn't agree with and I will personally drag you down to Tartarus and show you what real pain feels like, is that clear?"

"Tar-Tartar- Percy, you can't go back there-"

"I said _is that clear_?"

"Yes. Perfectly c-clear." Leo nodded. "I would never- I wouldn't-" Percy didn't let him finish, shoving him away. Leo stumbled and fell backwards, landing heavily on his backside. "I wouldn't hurt her." He said quietly. Percy considered him for a moment. Leo swallowed nervously. "I wouldn't." He repeated, glad to hear there was some more conviction in his tone. Percy didn't reply, stepping over him and leaving. Leo exhaled slowly, hand on heart to make sure it wasn't completely freaking out.

He heard voices in the hall, voices quickly rising into shouting. Someone swore colourfully and he sprung up. As he threw the door open, Louisa snatched up a vase and threw it at her brother's head. Percy ducked, furious. The missile smashed on the wall behind him, throwing shredded flowers and plant water everywhere. Bits of ceramic clattered to the floor, laying sadly in their little puddle.

Percy stood, ready to hash it out with his sister. Seeing Leo, he turned a deep red in anger and stormed off. "This isn't over!" Louisa yelled after him. She whipped round, startling to see Leo closer than she expected. Her temper melted away, reaching up to touch his face. "Leo," she breathed, "Leo, you OK?"

"I'll live." Leo promised, covering her hand with his. Her expression softened into more worry. Leo turned his head slightly, kissing her wrist. "What caused that?"

"I don't know what he said ta ya, but basically he ain't happy his best friend's gettin' it off with his sister."

"Nice phrasing." Leo grumbled. "And I'm _one_ of his best friends. I don't think that counts."

"Valdez."

"Sorry. I think I'm having a heart attack. You look nice. Like, really nice. Smooth, Valdez, smooth." He shook his head. Louisa laughed softly. "My flirting isn't working, I'm traumatised."

"Yeah, yeah." She pulled his arm around her shoulders, lacing their fingers. "Come on, ya lunatic. You need ta lie down before ya fall down."

"Yes please."


	4. Chapter 4

Annabeth caught up with Percy upon his return. His hands were shaking, he was so angry, but he was adamant Leo had been told. It was a real struggle for Annabeth to keep quiet. "He's my best friend," Percy was ranting, "you'd have thought he would tell me. Or Lou would say something, oh gods, I don't like this." _Well, you're not going to like what I know_ , Annabeth thought, biting her lip. Percy wasn't looking at her, glaring out the window. The sun was beginning to set now. The party had gotten slightly smaller- some guests had to leave- the majority, however, were ready to dance the night away. "Frank told me he liked Hazel. Why couldn't Leo tell me he liked Lou?"

"I thought you knew?" Annabeth touched his arm. Percy shook his head.

"I thought he was over it. He was… acting different around her, I figured he had sorted himself out. But buying her dresses, getting her to dance with him- I know she's been up to his room today, Jason said she was up there earlier, getting food." His expression darkened. Annabeth mentally sighed. It was best he didn't know. Not yet.

"He's just caring for her." She said, patting his arm.

"She's gained weight."

"Considering she lost so much, that's a good thing. Look, you saw how happy they both were earlier. We get Lou in a dress and she's awkward and trying to cover up. Leo gets her in a dress and she accepts it, she's dancing in it, dancing with Leo."

"Yeah, what was that about?" Percy was shaking his head again. "That didn't look like their first dance, that was too good, no stepping on each other, the water and the fire, that wasn't right, it all looked too easy. I still step on your toes now, how do they do it?"

"Percy, why are you mad?"

"I wish I'd known. If I'd seen this coming- when Piper said she was sure Lou liked him- liked him liked him- I thought she was just saying that to cheer Leo up a bit. I… oh, I don't know. I always figured Lou was too stubborn for that sort of thing. How can she change her mind just like that?" He snapped his fingers. Annabeth took a drink from a passing waiter and pressed it into his hand. Percy gulped down several mouthfuls. It must have gone to his head as he grimaced and sighed.

"Percy?" Sally and Jessica were there. Annabeth frowned. "Don't worry, Grover's taking them up to bed." Sally smiled. "And yes, Tobias has his blanket. Max has had his bottle."

"Babies are weird." Jessica made a face. "Not had much experience with them to be honest. Anyway, do you mind if we talk to Percy for a bit? Apparently, he needs some mothering."

"Of course." Annabeth smiled. She kissed Percy's cheek, walking away. She accepted a drink from another waiter, throwing that back in seconds. She could see Frank and Hazel out on the terrace, observing the sun disappear beyond the horizon. Frank had her arm around her, heads bowed together, giggling like love-struck teens.

"Annabeth." Annabeth startled and whirled round. Nico raised his arm and blocked her attack, sighing. "Come on, Beth, you know I see those coming from miles off."

"I'll get you one day." Annabeth promised. Nico smirked. "I've got some news."

"I thought you might. The amount of meetings you and Piper have had with my sister- I figured something big had happened." He gestured with his head, leading the way out into the hall. "So?" He asked.

"Keep walking." Annabeth insisted. "Percy's already in a foul mood- if he catches wind of this, he'll go ballistic."

"I'm even more interested now."

* * *

Nico took the news relatively well. Annabeth waited for it to sink in, but she could never read the son of Hades. His eyes were a blur of thoughts and of nothingness, expression carefully blank, but following the workings of his mind. "I take it you got something from Louisa?"

"Of sorts. Louisa, as you may have noticed, has a very strong spirit. It is not, however, strong enough to appear twice. Especially if the second one is still forming and has similarities to Leo's spirit too. I can sense a lot of fire in this one."

"So, it'll be like Leo?"

"Only time will tell, Beth; all I know is that there's another Valdez on the way and I should move to Timbuctoo before that happens."

"What about the rest of us?"

"Screw you guys, I'm out."

"Hazel too? She's a married woman now, you can't leave Frank."

"Three's a crowd." Nico waved away her next remark. "Percy is in a really dreadful mood- I can sense it from here. If he finds out about this, Leo is a dead man." Annabeth nodded in agreement. "Got a plan then, oh daughter of Athena?"

"I'm working on it. Whichever way I try and word it, it always ends with something very inappropriate that _really_ won't help. And Piper isn't making the best of suggestions either." Nico snorted. "Yeah, her inner Aphrodite is starting to show today- she's got two of her biggest ships confirmed in the space of an afternoon. Her brain is working on serious overtime." Annabeth sighed. "You wouldn't know what to do, would you?"

"Let things run its course. Percy will find out eventually. I know he can be an idiot, but even he can't ignore a screaming niece or nephew."

"That's if he isn't serving twenty-to-life for murder." Annabeth stood. "If you get any ideas, give us a shout." Nico nodded. He frowned out the window and vanished into the shadows. Annabeth sighed again and headed back to the party.

She found Louisa by the buffet table, once again piling her plate high with portions of everything. She still wore the black and red dress, humming to herself and swinging her hips slightly. She stopped when she realised Annabeth was looking at her, stubbornly cramming an iced bun into her mouth. Annabeth folded her arms, unimpressed. Louisa's eyes burned defiantly and she turned away. Annabeth followed, watching Louisa help herself to more food. They went around the table twice before Louisa snapped.

"What the hell d'ya want?"

"I was just thinking that it looks like you're eating for a small country rather than for two." Annabeth smiled simply. Louisa opened her mouth to retort, freezing when she registered her sister-in-law's words.

"I don't know what ya talkin' about." She replied haughtily.

"Lou, I'm not stupid. Or invisible anymore."

"Invi- you what?"

"Ah, temper. Not good for the baby." Annabeth whispered, smiling sweetly as various emotions flicked over Louisa's features. "You and Percy go very red when you can't tantrum."

"It's not a tantrum," Louisa snarled, "I'm tryin' not ta smack ya into next week."

"I wonder what Leo will say about this…" Annabeth hummed thoughtfully, scratching idly at her chin. "I mean, he is _entitled_ , after all."

"You- bathroom- hat- _oohhh_ …" Louisa stomped her foot. "Why didn't I notice? Fuck's _sake_!" She threw her plate onto the table, sending food flying in all directions, and folded her arms. "Fine. What d'ya want, Blondie?"

"I want the truth."

"Well, ya seem ta know anyway-"

" _All_ of it." Annabeth persisted. She could see Louisa taking deeper breaths, could see her trying to regulate her heartbeat to calm down, a trick Annabeth had taught Leo to teach her, since she listened to Leo more than anyone else.

When that didn't work, Louisa turned on her heel and started off. Annabeth went after her. "There's no point walking away, Lou! It'll all come out eventually!" People were starting to stare now. Many of them still hadn't recovered from the Leoisa dance, but whispers sparked as to why Annabeth was hounding half of the new couple.

Louisa made it to the door. Annabeth hurried, slipping out seconds after her sister-in-law. "Lou, you can't- what?" The hallway was empty. Annabeth looked left and right, even checking the rooms opposite, but she hadn't heard a door go. "Oh, stubborn cow. Lou! I know you can hear me! If I have to badger you for fifty years to get answers, I will! Just pray Percy doesn't find out!" And with that, the blonde swept back into the main room, slamming the door behind her.

* * *

Percy was coming back down the stairs, feeling a little better now he had checked on his sons. His mothers had talked him into accepting Leo as one of Louisa's choices- she wouldn't have agreed to the dress or the dance if she wasn't happy with it. Percy had tried to insist that Leo had paid her, but they all knew there was no way Leo could afford that kind of display from Louisa.

Yawning into his hand, Percy decided to see where his wife had run off to. This afternoon had been a long one and, while it may have still been early evening, he wanted nothing more than to sleep. He hadn't seen Frank and Hazel for almost an hour, a few more people had left already. Piper and Jason were on the DJ booth now, dancing away to whatever songs they put on. Thankfully there hadn't been anymore shock dances. Percy was too tired to deal with any more surprises.

"-Percy doesn't know yet, so _please_ keep this quiet." Percy back-tracked, pressing his ear to the door. It was a side room, something he had had a quick look in earlier. Nothing overly fancy, but its occupants were rather engrossing. "Lou knows I know," Annabeth was saying, "and she knows I'm after her, I want to get to the bottom of this."

"But why would they hide it from us?" That was Jessica. She sounded close to tears. "Don't we deserve to know?"

"Maybe they're still caught up in the early days." Sally's voice was soothing, but had an underlying hint of emotion. "At the least, Percy knows there's something between them and even that he's not happy about."

"Leo was worried about Percy having him hung, drawn and quartered." Frank. "When Hazel came down the aisle earlier, he was looking at Lou like… like… like…" Frank floundered. "I said to him why doesn't he just ask her out, but… I think he's too scared of Percy. They may be friends, but Leo knows his limits with him. He wouldn't push it."

"Except that he has." Back to Annabeth. "As has Lou for that matter."

"How did we not see it?" Jessica was definitely crying now. Silence for a moment and then Jessica shrieked. "Nico!" She reprimanded. "We've talked about you sneaking up on people like that!"

"Sorry." Nico coughed. "I just wanted to see what was going on."

"You know what's going on." Annabeth chided.

"OK, duh. I'll rephrase- I wanted to know what was going on _here_." Quiet. Percy could envision his little cousin surveying everyone. "So, I guess you're all up to speed then?" Murmurs. "Well that's not fun. I guess I could tell everyone else. Don't look at me like that, Beth. I need to tell _someone_."

"Don't tell Percy. Not yet."

"I'm not stupid, but thanks for instilling me with confidence."

"Nico, this is not the time for sarcasm."

"Sarcasm is literally all I speak. Come on, what did you expect? Rainbows and kisses and happy, sunny days filled with bunnies and daisies singing 'We are family'? This is messed up- not only are they living together, but Leo was all set to adopt Bradley, but then stuff happened, so he asked Lou to marry him, she said yes, few months down the line and now we've got a Bubba Valdez on the way. The only daisies here will be the ones Leo's going to push up when Percy gets hold of him."

Percy stepped away from the door. Glaring down the hall, he could see the party room. Someone had propped the door open to let some air through. He could see Leo, talking to Reyna. Lava filled his veins and he saw red.

"LEO!"


	5. Chapter 5

The change on Leo's face was instantaneous. He went from a cheery smile to the strongest formation of pure, unbridled terror in less than a heartbeat. Reyna looked round to see who had yelled.

"Leo, _run_." She advised. Leo tried. Percy caught him in a few seconds, swinging him round and slamming him against the wall. His hand crushed into Leo's throat, the force of it cracking Leo's head on the masonry. "Percy!" Reyna pulled on his arm, but it was like yanking on a steel rod. A flash of blonde in her peripheral; "Annabeth!"

"Percy, no!" Annabeth raced forward. Nico and Frank joined her. "Percy!" Leo's fingers were scrabbling on Percy's hand, red-faced, gasping. "Percy, let him go!"

"Is it true?" Percy demanded hotly. Leo choked, aiming a wobbly kick at his captor. Bad move- Percy's fingers dug in more. "Is it _true_?" His voice was getting louder, trembling in his fury. Whips of sea green energy crashed into those trying to stop him.

"Percy!" Nico threw out his hand, shadows combatting his cousin's power. "Percy, you're killing him, let him go!" Leo was turning blue now.

"Leo!" A black and scarlet blur shoved forward. Pain exploded along Percy's right side, loud cracking and splintering of woods. He tripped to one side. Louisa held the remains of a chair. Leo slumped to the floor, inhaling sharply. "What the hell are you doin'?!" Louisa raged. "Leo, Leo, you OK?" Leo coughed, spluttering violently. Louisa threw the bits of wood aside, taking him by the shoulders. "Hands above ya head, sit up straight." She leant his back to the wall. A thick ring of bruises layered on his neck like a scarf. "Bro, what the hell?" Percy pushed himself up.

"Twins, don't do this," Sally was there, "we can talk about this, don't fight-"

"He tried ta kill Leo! Look what he did!"

"And look what Leo did!" Percy fumed, gesturing at her stomach. Her new dress may have hidden it better than the blue one, but now she was still, it was obvious. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"'Cos I knew you'd react like this!"

"If you'd told me from the start, we wouldn't be having this now!" Percy clenched his fists. "How long has this been going on?" Louisa ignored him. Leo had just grabbed her hand. A fresh wave of white-hot anger built a maelstrom in Percy. His power crackled about him, Riptide suddenly in his hand.

And then Sally was there. His demigod blade couldn't hurt her, but his ocean heritage could. "Mom-"

"No." Sally said firmly, arms out. Percy moved to the left, but his mother was there. "Percy, we are not going to sort this with weapons. We are all going to calm down and talk about this."

"She's my sister, she-"

"She's my daughter!" Sally retorted. Jessica materialised next to her. "Our daughter." Sally corrected, calmer. Jessica smiled, linking arms with her companion. "Percy, if you want to get to Leo, you'll have to get through us."

"Look what he did!" He protested instantly. "You're just going to let that slide?"

"Put the sword away." Jessica said firmly. "We're all angry here, but it's not going to help anyone." She looked over her shoulder. Louisa was helping Leo to his feet, holding his arm round her shoulders. Leo was trying to say something, voice hoarse. He realised Jessica's attention and motioned to Louisa. _Bradley_ , he mouthed.

"What did he say?" Percy had taken that as a challenge. Leo flinched.

"He didn't." Louisa fired. "He can't."

"Lou, get away from him-"

"Oh, what's he gonna do? He's injured, he can't speak, he still ain't breathin' properly 'n' ya'll know he can't use his fire if he can't breathe. You want a fight with someone, bro, ya can have a fight with me."

"I'm not fighting you-"

"Put the sword away." Sally ordered. She pressed her first two fingers to the blade, pushing it away. "You've done enough damage, Percy, we're going to take this to another room and we're going to talk this over like _adults_. Louisa, heal Leo up as best you can and get him up to my room. We'll meet you there in a few, we're just going to calm Percy down."

"I am calm-"

"Sword. Away." Jessica warned. Percy swore profusely in Greek and Riptide shrank into a pen. "Good. Let's go then."

* * *

Leo sat still. Louisa worked her water magic, muttering furiously to herself. The water was pleasantly cool on his neck, easing away the pain of bruises. His head pounded, vision blurring, but his main concern was her. He could see it in the way her hands moved, how stiff her fingers were when they were meant to be fluid, saw how the water faltered and dripped on his lap when her concentration wavered, saw thoughts darting in her eyes, the tightening of her lips, creases in the corners of her eye as her temper ticked over. She sniffed once. Bottom lip trembled. Leo held his hands out.

"No." She breathed. "You first."

"I'm alright." He croaked. Louisa bit her lip, taking a deep breath. She blinked, kept blinking, desperately pouring her focus into healing him. The more she tried, the more her hands shook. In the space of a heartbeat, her anger rocketed. She threw her hands out and the water splayed across the room. "Lou-"

"Leo, I'm sorry, I can't-" She hid her face in her hands, shoulders hunching. Leo pulled her onto his lap. Mute sobs shook her body, arms locking around his neck as she cried hot tears over his shoulder. Leo simply held her, stroking her hair gently, rubbing circles into her back. They stayed like that, even when the others came in. Leo was a little surprised to see Nico. Nico simply pointed at Annabeth and shrugged.

Sally was watching her son carefully. He was not at all impressed with how his sister and her _husband_ were sitting, flexing his fingers irritably. Feeling his mother's gaze on him, Percy scowled and crossed his arms. Sally cleared her throat pointedly, giving him a _what did we talk about_ look.

"Lou." Percy said gruffly. "I-" A funny look crossed his features and he hurried forward. Leo visibly winced as he drew closer, holding onto Louisa tighter. Percy ignored him, resting a hand on his sister's shoulder. "Lou, let me help." She said nothing, arms constricting around Leo. "Lou, please." Percy persisted. As his sister stayed silent, Percy begrudgingly looked to Leo. "I hate you." He said. "But I need to help her." His expression crumpled. A switch flipped in Leo's head and ice cold dread made his insides churn.

"Lou-" He said. She started shaking her head. "Percy can help better than I can, it'll only be for a minute."

"It won't work." Streams of tears were cutting down her face. "Somethin' ain't right, Leo, I can't- I can't-" Her breath hitched. "I can't feel 'em, I can't feel Bubba."

"We have to try." Percy and Leo said together. Percy glowered. Leo put a hand over his mouth. "Lou, please." Percy shifted closer to his sister, taking her in his arms. He drew on their power, but hesitated, hand wavering over her stomach. How had he missed this? She was nowhere near as big as Annabeth had been with the boys, but it wasn't a _small_ bump. He really was blind. Taking a breath, he lay his hand down. His niece or nephew was in there and they _needed_ him. _Louisa_ needed him. "It's OK, Lou." He promised, squishing his cheek on her hair. Louisa sniffed, wiping her nose on her palm. "Use a tissue." Percy mumbled automatically. Louisa hiccupped a laugh, fiercer tears soaking his T-shirt. Percy frowned, willing a little more energy through her. Her nails dug into his arm, grimacing, cramps seizing her middle. She shook her head, hiding her face in the curve of her brother's neck.

"Percy-" Nico said.

"No." He would not stand for this. He had caused this, he would fix this. "Come on," he muttered, "be nice for Uncle Percy." His gaze slipped up, finding Leo's on him. For a split second, he saw what Louisa saw. He saw the Leo no-one else was allowed to see. Faint bruising pattered his neck; Percy's innards were wedged under guilt, so suddenly, he felt queasy. _For Leo_ , he decided, _for Louisa_.

Green light speckled under his fingers, broadening until it cast oceanic illumination in every corner of the room. "Come on," he repeated, "come on come on come on…" Louisa's wayward breathing gave him incentive. She didn't need this too.

Percy's vision gained shadows around the edges, blurring under exhaustive tears. He was suddenly so aware of Nico, hearing that gentle plea again, the sorrow underlying his tone. His hope was dwindling, he could see his green sputter. _It's not working,_ a small voice hissed, _stop prolonging it._

 _I can't give up._

 _It's selfish._

 _Lou needs me. I_ have _to do this._

 _You can't._ "I can." Percy said aloud. Something flickered under his palm. _There you are_ , he thought _, just a bit more, you can do it._

Louisa felt the next kick. Her eyes snapped open. Percy was grinning. Nico didn't look so anxious and stepped back. Percy's hand remained, counting each strike, feeling them getting stronger. His power faded away altogether, but that was OK.

"Did it work?" Leo asked roughly.

"See for yourself." Percy smiled. Leo scrambled down from his seat, colliding with the twins in his rush. His hand replaced Percy's, a disbelieving grin wobbling across his features. Louisa was crying again, hugging her brother with enough force to crack some of his ribs.

"Mi dulce niño." Leo breathed. He looked at Percy. "I'm sorry."

"No. I'm sorry. I was a jerk."

"We were wrong to keep it from you though. All of you." Leo took Louisa's hand. She dragged her sleeve across her face, smiling feebly. "I guess we're both jerks." Percy's response was to pull Leo into a hug, holding the pair together. Leo accidentally bumped noses with his wife.

"Tell me next time," Percy told them, "and I won't try and kill Leo."

"Next time?" Leo felt his face heat up. Louisa was oddly pink too. "One thing at a time, dude." Leo mumbled. Louisa made a noise of agreement, but she was more than happy wrapping her arms round her midriff and sitting in her brother's enforced group hug.

"See?" Sally said, wiping at her eyes. "Was that so hard? Did you really have to fight?" The trio shared sheepish looks. Sally and Jessica quickly shooed the boys away, wanting their own turn of feeling their grandchild kick. "Boy or girl?" Sally asked eagerly.

"Don't know." Louisa admitted quietly.

"She won't let us know." Leo translated.

"What? Why?" Jessica demanded. Louisa hunched her shoulders. "You dirty little fun-sponge!"

"Jessica!"

"Oh, bite me."

* * *

Leo lay on his bed, examining the patterns of moonlight criss-crossing his ceiling. His throat was still sore, but he could live with that. At least he could still _live_. Fighting Mother Earth had been less terrifying than crossing Percy Jackson. Leo planned to never _ever_ do that _ever_ again. He could have sworn Percy was going to kill him for taking Louisa back to his room. Leo's bright response had been _it's not like I can get her pregnant again_. Percy had told him not to push it. Louisa told her brother to fuck off and then fist-bumped him. At least they were on good terms again.

The bathroom light went out and Louisa's silhouette padded across the room. Her weight sank the bed on his right, cold hands touching his neck. "Feeling better?" He asked. She lay down and sighed, plonking her head on his shoulder. "Our plan to surprise everyone might have gone out the window."

"You can go out the window." She murmured dazedly. Leo smiled, tucking his arm round her shoulders. Her arm crossed his chest, hand sliding under the back of his head where her fingers toyed absent-mindedly with his curls.

"Is that a challenge?" He smirked, planting a kiss on her temple. She hummed, noncommitting. Leo made a face, relieved she couldn't see in the semi-darkness of the room. "Be like that then." He kissed her nose. "Brat."

"Fight me." Louisa dared. Leo grabbed her hip, pulling her on top of him. Her head lingered on his shoulder, moving to kiss him when his hands traced the outline of her swollen tummy. Splashes littered his face. "That was too close." She whispered. "I thought- it was-"

"I know." Leo cupped her face in his hands. "I was scared too." He felt her slump as her emotions caught up with her. He kissed at her tears, then her forehead, her cheek, her jaw, finally her lips. Her fingers tangled in his hair, crying and apologising in between kisses. Leo shook his head, lingering on the next kiss.

"I can't lose you." The words travelled on a shuddering exhale, laced with sobs and racked with guilt. Leo's arms wound her in, as though he had every intention of fusing them together. He kissed her hair, putting his lips to her ear.

"I can't lose you either." He recognised the barest of sea green coming away from his chest, her hand replacing her head. She could feel his heartbeat under her palm, fingers curling into a fist as if she could capture it. Leo smiled, scooping her closed hand in both of his, kissing her knuckles, gently unfurling her fingers and kissing her palm. Her pulse drummed under his thumb. Leo ran his fingers up to her elbow, pinching the sleeve of her T-shirt- _his_ T-shirt on _her_ , what else was new?

Her lips found his again, both hands in his hair. Leo rolled them over, little nudges on his stomach where the baby was kicking at him. _My mama,_ Leo deciphered, _my mama, go away._ He smiled as he left a line of kisses along her jaw.

 _She was my wife first, Bubba._


	6. Chapter 6

"And name it Leo."

"If you say that again, I'm kicking you down to the Underworld and my father can deal with you." Hazel warned. Leo tapped his finger on his chin, humming dubiously.

" _Encantador_." He eventually decided. "But we do have a present for you. It's better than the waffle maker, I promise. That was more of a gag gift." Leo turned his head. Louisa was pelting her brother with grapes. "Lou!"

"He started it!"

"No, I meant-" He waved at Frank and Hazel. Louisa flicked a grape off Percy's head and smiled.

"OK. Hold my grapes."

"What's left of them."

"Did I ask for a smart-ass reply? No. So shut up 'n' hold my grapes." Louisa bounced off. Percy simply rolled his eyes and helped himself to a grape.

"I don't trust you two." Frank said. "What are you doing?"

"That'll ruin the surprise." Louisa grabbed them both by the wrist and marched them out on the field. "Right, stay. No, don't question it. Just stay." She hurried back to Leo, standing shoulder to shoulder with him. Leo was hunting about in his tool belt for something. Louisa directed her attention to the sky, throwing up her hands. Long, snapping tendrils of energy lunged upwards, hauling in low-hanging storm clouds the colour of bruises. The rain began as a gentle patter, gradually increasing. Percy poked Annabeth dry. Louisa had done the same for Leo. Hazel and Frank weren't so lucky.

Leo found what he was looking for, grinning victoriously. All the others could comprehend were handfuls of small canisters, like old camera film pots. He gave some to Louisa and together, they launched them skywards. Clouds seemed to reach down, snatching them all up. The rain grew heavier.

"What-?" Hazel started.

"Wait!" Leo insisted, hopping excitedly on alternating feet. "It should work! If you die a fiery death though, I do apologise!"

" _What_?" Frank panicked. Leo smiled. That didn't help.

Loud popping speckled a clap of thunder. The small bursts continued, even when the thunder rolled away. Jets of sparks exploded in all directions, reds and greens and golds and blues and pinks, shimmering overhead like a thousand rainbows. At first, it was chaos- beautiful chaos, but still chaos. Louisa raised her hands, flicking her fingers, pulling at things none of them could see. The raindrops swirled, as if caught in a gust although none blew. The sparks followed, condensing into an iridescent tornado. Louisa paused, gauging the couple's reactions. Hazel was most intrigued. Frank was curious, but more concerned with 'fiery death'.

Louisa let her hands fly out, nearly clonking Leo in the face. She laughed as he protested, but her tornado was spinning wildly, obtaining whistling winds as it did. Louisa would make a hand motion and, each time she did, a formation of sparks was born, dancing across the stormy sky. The first one was Hazel and Frank, her white dress sparkling with silvers and golds and his suit humming with blues and purples as they spun towards the clouds. The second, Arion and Hazel charging into battle, gleaming in their Imperial golden armour with an elephant by their side. Each display went somewhere different to its predecessor, but as they went on, they got cleverer and ever more stunning. At times, Hazel and Frank could see nothing between land and sky than the images manifesting before them. The rain hardly bothered them. This was worth it.

The tornado had dwindled. Louisa took a moment to catch her breath. The final display went up, screeching like a firework. It lit up every cloud, turning the deep bruises above into velvety hues of navy and grey. Leo put his arm around her waist, keeping her upright. Every animal they ever remembered Frank transforming into soared, bellowed, charged and cantered overhead. Arion was in there too. Hazel appeared in many forms, as a warrior, as a bride, as a practising chef, fanning herself and scolding them for their language; Frank appeared by her side, ready to fight, ready to play, turning into a bulldog to make her giggle.

Hazel was crying by the time _Frazel_ scribbled in place of everything else. Frank was spellbound, searching the sky as if expecting more. It took them a minute to come back to earth. Hazel sprinted across the field, not caring for the rain or mud on her dress, barrelling straight into Leo and Louisa.

"Thank you." She sobbed, the biggest of all smiles lighting up her face. She pressed a grateful kiss to their cheeks in turn and then Frank was there, scooping them all into one great hug.

"Aw, look. Frank and his short people."

"Percy, I will kill you." Louisa warned.

"Can't breathe." Leo wheezed. Frank quickly dropped them, grabbing Leo's arm as his balance toppled. "When you bear hug, you _bear hug_." He rubbed at his ribs, laughing. "Percy's right though- didn't think I'd say it either- but we are _literally_ Frank and his short people. Look, none of us can even reach his _hombro_!" Leo waved a hand from over his head to the lower half of Frank's chest. Louisa was a couple of inches smaller than him and Hazel even tinier than her. Seeing Frank's face redden, Leo smiled. "Aw, we love you really. You're like a big teddy bear! Who can… actually turn into a bear and devour all of us if you so wished, but teddy!" He did a little happy dance, sending bouts of giggles into the women. Percy and Frank shared bemused, yet exasperated looks.

"Only you, Leo." Frank ruffled his friend's hair.

"I know. It's great. Anyway, your honeymoon awaits! Psst," he hissed, "call it Leo." Hazel pursed her lips, raising a brow at her cousin. Louisa nodded once. Her hand shot up and pinched Leo's ear. "Ow!"

"Come on, Valdez. I'm hungry 'n' these two need ta catch their flight."

"Well, they'd better send me a postcard." Leo eased Louisa's fingers from his ear, lacing his with them instead. He could feel eyes burning the side of his head. Percy may have been a lot calmer about Leoisa now, but that didn't mean he fully understood it. "I'm just holding her hand. See? No funny business."

"Bit late for that." Percy grumbled.

"Oh, shush. You're excited too." Leo grinned. Percy made to protest, catching his words and hesitating.

"Yeah." He agreed quietly. "Little bit." Annabeth patted his arm, smiling.

"You'll get used to it, Seaweed Brain. Let's see Frank and Hazel off and then you can glare at Leo later. Sound good?" Percy nodded. Leo shook his head. Annabeth smirked at him, leading Percy and the happy couple away.

"Is he always going to glare at me?"

"Probably." Louisa replied casually. "Don't look so worried, Valdez. He's just doin' that stupid protective big brother thing."

"Still." Leo shrugged. "He scares me."

"Well then, I'll scare him. One thing 'bout bein' his twin- I know _all_ his weaknesses." Leo brightened a little at that. "Better?"

"Better." He smiled, squeezing her hand. "Let's get you fed."

"'Bout damn time."

* * *

They made it home by early afternoon. They had stopped by two McDonalds on the way back- at the first one, Louisa craved a Big Mac and fries. At the second one, she craved pretty much everything else. Leo's wallet had never been lighter.

"Your horror and fascinate me." Leo piped up. She froze mid-bite of a cheeseburger, sending him a befuddled look. "In a good way." Leo added. Sea green lingered on him for a moment and then rolled away, more interested in food. Leo glanced at his watch, sliding forward in his seat to stand. "You OK here for a bit?" She nodded, slurping on a banana milkshake. His stomach couldn't handle all these blends of tastes. Then again, he didn't have another life growing in him and throwing out crazy demands. "I'll be in the nursery if you need me." He kissed her forehead on the way past, cheekily swiping a single fry. She still protested. He waved at her from the nursery doorway. She hissed and guarded her food.

"Fight me." She challenged.

"Next time." Leo promised, rolling up his sleeves. They had left the nursery half-finished. Most of the furniture was still in its boxes. The paint needed a final coat and touching up around the edges. Louisa still needed to finish her mural on the wall to the left of entering. It was an underwater scene, with all kinds of sea creatures and plants, the sunlight fracturing on the rippling surface above. If Leo didn't know better, he would have thought he was watching this life pass him by, for real. His painting of the room consisted of two white walls and a zesty green. Sighing, he dug out the paint cans and his roller. The smell of McDonalds wafted into him, making his stomach growl. "Ssh," Leo told it, "she'll never let you have pregnancy food."

Louisa could hear him clattering about, occasionally talking to himself. She was on her box of twenty chicken nuggets now, dipping them in sour cream and chive dip, adding some fries to the mix every now and then. The baby wiggled about excitedly. OK, so fast food wasn't necessarily good for the baby, but Louisa didn't crave any of that. She wanted McDonalds and pizza and KFC and Nandos and more pizza and hotdogs coming out of her ears. And ice-cream. Ooh, and doughnuts. A chocolate éclair never went amiss either. Annabeth had had cravings for lemon meringue pie and meatloaf with Tobias and Max respectfully. What was so wrong with wanting a bit of everything?

The doorbell chimed as she polished off her last nugget. "Your turn!" Leo called instantly.

"I know, I know." Louisa opened her Happy Meal first, walking with the toy to answer the door. "Here, I don't want this. Oh." She had pushed the toy into Annabeth's hand. Percy stood beside her, taking the toy for closer inspection. Louisa left the door open, returning to her hoard. "Leo!"

"What?"

"Leo, did you take some of my fries?"

"No, I'm painting!"

"There's less here!"

"Maybe you ate them already? Who was at the door?"

"Percabeth!"

"Ew, not Percabeth." Leo stuck his head round the door, grinning cheekily. "Hello."

"You have paint in your hair." Annabeth pointed out.

"I know. It's my new look."

"What are you doing?" Percy quizzed. Leo waved him over. His brother-in-law got halfway before a burger wrapper bounced off the back of his head. Percy sighed, looking over his shoulder. Louisa had her arms folded, jaw set obstinately. "I'm not going to kill him. I just want to see what he's doing."

"I will come in 'n' beat you if I hear anythin'."

"I've apologised a thousand ti-" Leo tapped Percy on the shoulder, humming nervously. "Yes, Lou." Percy corrected. Louisa nodded once and plonked down in her seat. Annabeth sat in the armchair, making a face at Louisa's lunch.

"That's really not healthy."

"I don't care. Tastes nice." Louisa reached for her milkshake, slurping loudly. She could see a tick working under Annabeth's eye, smirking inwardly. "Ya so prim 'n' proper, Blondie."

"And you're not."

"Meh." Louisa shrugged. "No Squirtfaces?"

"No. Piper has them."

"Hope ya didn't plan on gettin' 'em back."

"Trust me- sometimes you would _kill_ for five minutes' peace. Don't get me wrong, I love my boys. Just not at two o'clock in the morning, bouncing on my bed demanding ice-cream and a story." Annabeth pressed her lips together. She could hear Percy laughing. Louisa leant back in her seat, peering at the men through the open door. "Lou, they'll be fine."

"Mm."

"Percy was just angry. I talked to him on the way here. He's promised he's going to try and be a bit more lenient towards you and Leo. It's just hard for him, because-"

"Protective big brother, I know." Louisa shook her head. Annabeth shifted forward in her seat, resting her elbows on her knees. Louisa immediately took that as an interrogation stance, cramming a handful of fries into her mouth.

"No, don't do that. I just want to know how Leo got past all your stubbornness and got you to marry him." Louisa took her time chewing. Annabeth simply laced her fingers together and waited. "You can't chew that mouthful forever."

"Can try." Louisa retorted thickly around her mouthful. Instead, the chips went all mushy and then they were gone. Annabeth smiled sweetly, expectant. Louisa drummed her fingers on the side of her drink, mulling over the question. "Valdez charm." She eventually said. Annabeth shook her head. "No, it's true. Valdez charm."

"And what's the 'Valdez charm' like?"

"Leo."

"Am I only going to get monosyllabic responses from you?"

"'Valdez charm' had three. 'N' 'Leo' had two." Louisa slurped on her drink again. Annabeth frowned. Louisa could see the cogs whirring in her brain.

"If that's how you want to play it, fine." Annabeth sat up, placing her elbow on the arm of the chair, chin in hand, legs crossed. "What's he like in bed?" Louisa felt her face burn instantly, spewing milkshake. Annabeth grinned triumphantly. Louisa, between hacking coughs, told Annabeth to go and do something highly unsavoury. The blonde simply passed over a water bottle and waited for the choking fit to subside. "Going to answer my normal questions now?"

"To an extent." Louisa replied thickly, massaging her chest. "Oh, that hurt."

"Serves you right."

"I hate you." Louisa grumbled, holding her cold drink to her hot face. Annabeth gave her a moment to regain control of her thoughts. The red flush worked its way down to a gentle pink.

"So?" Annabeth prompted.

"So what?"

"Why Leo?"

"Why not?"

"Personally, not my type. But I won't get into that, because Percy's your brother and that makes it awkward for you." Louisa nodded in agreement, chewing her lip as she thought. "When did Leo stop being your best friend and started being your boyfriend?"

"He… didn't." Louisa puzzled. "It just… blurred together."

"But when?"

"Um… just after I, we found out 'bout Bradley. Leo was all set ta adopt him, but…" Louisa's eyes darkened. Annabeth hopped up and sat next to her, resting a sisterly hand on her knee. Louisa wiped her nose on her sleeve. "He, uh…" The pink tinge deepened. "He tried ta… kiss me that afternoon, but, um…" She rubbed at her neck. "Percy walked in."

"You _what_?" Annabeth's eyes widened.

"He didn't see nothin'. He gets lost in the Bunker, every time. Leo sort of… ran."

"Oh _gods_ , can you imagine if Percy had found out then?" Annabeth cracked up. Louisa looked at her like she had gone crazy. "Oh, sorry, Lou. Carry on. When did you get a proper kiss out of him?"

"Couple o' days later." Louisa replied quietly.

"Any good?" Annabeth had to bite back another laugh as Louisa reddened again. "Aw, look at you, blushing over Leo. That's so cute."

"You married your best friend." Louisa defied. "How are me 'n' Leo any different?"

"Like that, is it?" Annabeth squeezed Louisa's shoulder. "I'm not judging you, Lou. I want to know. Now tell me about the wedding. Was there a honeymoon? What was _that_ like? What's Leo like generally? Miss any anniversaries, what presents, that sort of thing? Come on, Lou, don't leave me hanging like this, _I want to know_!" Louisa mumbled inaudibly. Annabeth sighed, dropping her head next to Louisa's. "In your own t-"

"Sunflowers."

"Sorry?"

"Sunflowers." Louisa repeated. "They're my favourite. He always buys me sunflowers." Annabeth smiled. It was a start. "When we… when we got married, I had sunflowers. He broke one off 'n' put it in his hair, asked me if I thought he was pretty."

"What did you say?"

"I said he looked twatty."

"Close enough. What did you do for the honeymoon?"

"Cruise."

"Wait, _that_ cruise?" Annabeth poked her face. Louisa nodded. "You- oh my gods, you two are so freaking _sneaky_! Wait, wait, wait…" Annabeth went quiet. Louisa started to ask if she was alright, but a light flipped somewhere in that stormy grey. "Have we got a honeymoon baby on the way?"

"Ya makin' me very uncomfortable." Louisa said, crimson again.

"Do we have any photos? Baby scan photos." Annabeth clarified.

"Uh… Leo does. Leo!" Leo appeared at the doorway. "Why've ya got paint on ya face?"

"Percy." Leo glanced back. "He wanted to help. What's up, chica?" Louisa ignored Annabeth's smug smile, putting in her request. Leo checked his tool belt, retrieving three white cards. Percy gasped excitedly and swiped them immediately.

"And you don't know what it is?" He quizzed, holding the picture up to the light.

"It's a baby, Percy." Leo monotoned.

"I will hurt you."

"Hey, no." Louisa was on her feet. "Ooh, head rush." Annabeth stood, taking hold of Louisa's elbow. Leo came up on her other side, roller in his hand. Louisa gripped his hand tightly. Percy rambled over, squinting at the pictures.

"I can't tell." He said, passing one to Annabeth. "What do you guys want? And don't say as long as it's healthy-"

"As long as it's alive." Louisa muttered. She started, realising her words.

"Lou-" Leo pushed the roller into Annabeth's hand. "Hey," he said softly, "chica-" Thick tears welled in her eyes, squeaking apologies. Leo hugged her fiercely, feeling her fingers curl into his shirt. She mumbled sorry repeatedly into his neck. "No, you've every right to be worried and I get that. If you keep apologising, I will duct-tape your mouth shut." She hiccupped.

"I'd l-like t-t-to see y-you t-try." Louisa stammered, half-defiantly. Leo smirked, pulling the tape from his belt. Louisa turned her head, hair warm on his cheek, pushing her hand against his, working to wrestle the tape from his grasp. With an arm still around each other, they fought to get the roll. It was like they were back on the dance floor, not as graceful, not working together. This was a competition.

"Ahaha, you can't get it, you can't get it." Leo sang teasingly. He blew a raspberry on her cheek and tossed the tape across the room. Louisa swept away. Leo caught her around the middle, swinging her up into a fireman's lift. "Victory!" He declared.

"No!" Louisa puffed her hair out of her eyes. "Valdez!"

"Um…" Percy sent Annabeth a confused look. Leo turned, suddenly remembering they were there. Louisa took this distraction and twisted it to her advantage. She made herself go limp. Leo swore at her in Spanish.

"That's cheating." He accused, struggling.

"I know." Louisa sounded very smug. Leo sighed. Percy and Annabeth were utterly bewildered by him; Louisa could sense the question in the air, planting her hands on Leo's shoulders and pushing herself up. Leo lowered his arms to hold onto her legs. "Aha, midget." Louisa messed his hair. "I win."

"Remember who buys your food."

"Love you."

"Are you guys always like this?"

"Oh. No." Leo shook his head. Louisa grinned wickedly.

"We're worse."

"You should see us on a Tuesday."

Percy pinched Annabeth's sleeve.

"I don't think I can handle this." He hissed. "Give me monsters any day."


	7. Chapter 7

Leo stood back, dusting himself down. A whirl of pride swelled up inside him. This time- _this time_ \- the nursery should be _perfect_. "Lou!" He called. "I think I've got it!" He heard her groan, complaining she had to get up. Not long after their reveal, she had started picking at things around the house. The nursery had been put on hold while they decorated the rest of the apartment. Leo wasn't sure what had gotten into her, but Percy advised him it was best not to fight it.

They had spent a week on the living room alone. Louisa had started stripping the wallpaper one day, giving Leo a right shock when he came in from work. "You're supposed to be resting!" He had chided, taking the scraper from her.

"It was buggin' me." Leo made to ask why, cut off when he saw what she had done all day.

"Why have you been moving stuff around as well? And is that bleach I smell? Where are the curtains? Lou-" She was staring at him, like she didn't understand why he was getting so worked up. Leo took a breath. "Alright. What can I do?" Her smile made him feel a little better.

"I want ta move the sofa over there. I tried, but it weren't workin' so well."

"No duh, you're seven and a half months pregnant." Leo pulled his sleeves up. "Where'd you want it?"

"By the window." Louisa pointed. Leo started towards it, stopping a step later. "What? I'm helpin'."

"Um, no you're not."

"I can move a sofa, Valdez." Leo returned the scraper. "Leo, I can help!"

"I know. But you've obviously done a lot today already. Lou, chica, I love you and I respect that you can make your own choices, but this one I'm putting my foot down on." Angry pink smudges melted onto her cheekbones. Leo kissed her cheek and got to work. Louisa fumed and started tearing the wallpaper down with her bare hands, muttering furiously. Leo stayed quiet while he moved the sofa, letting her temper simmer down. He said nothing when he took up her side, ripping jagged sheets of wallpaper.

He knew she was feeling better when a ball of paper hit him in the head. Leo grabbed her around the waist, pulling her to him. "You're trouble." He told her. She smiled knowingly, accepting a kiss from him. "Why is everything being changed though? What are you up to?"

"I cleaned the bathroom 'n' finished my wall in the nursery. I was bored."

"Right?"

"We need new wallpaper."

"We'll go in the morning. Anything else you need?" Her gaze travelled about the room, gnawing at her lip. Leo dropped a gentle peck there to stop her doing that.

"Baby-proof." She said.

"Write up a list and we'll see what we can do." Leo rubbed at her arms. "And get us a coffee while you're at it."

"Exsqueeze me."

"Pardoned." Leo squished her in a hug. "Go on; my coffee doesn't make itself."

* * *

Following the living room- all newly wallpapered in a sweet floral design and rearranged and painted with new cushions and a throw and a rug and lighting- she hit the bathroom. She had too much fun breaking the tiles off. Leo had to remind her not to throw this wall waste at his head. He was on a stepladder, repainting the ceiling. Louisa thought it was funny to shake it, but not so funny when a glob of paint splashed on her head. Leo had to help her wash it out, doing his best not to laugh. A few snickers escaped though; the shower turned on him, soaking his jeans through.

"Pee-pee pants." She teased.

"Yes, yes, very mature." Leo mock-congratulated, undoing his belt buckle. He kicked his jeans off and threw them at her face. "Happy now?"

"Somewhat."

"My eyes are up here."

"Sssh, I'm admirin' you for a change."

"You're insufferable." Leo shook his head. Louisa shushed him again, poking him in the mouth. Leo took her hand and redirected her to breaking the tiles off again. He moved the stepladder away from her a bit, out of arm's reach.

Didn't mean he was out of sight.

"Ya've got too much on the top half." She smirked. Leo looked down at his T-shirt and then at her, brow raised.

"You've got too much on, period." In reply, she pulled her sweatshirt over her head and threw it at him. "What, that's it?"

"Yup. Paint that ceilin'."

"You're in for it later, I swear."

"Challenge accepted."

* * *

Leo was texting Annabeth later that night. He couldn't sleep, but Louisa had no trouble. She had crashed out after a little excursion with him, lying on his back. Leo didn't mind so much, she normally rolled off after a few minutes. Annabeth was awake, tending to Max. _She's cleaning everything, it's all being redecorated, what is she doing?_

 _It's called nesting, Leo. A lot of pregnant women experience it._

 _So when a guy calls you a bird…_

 _No, Leo._

 _Sorry. What is it?_

 _She's getting the place ready for the baby_

 _But the nursery's done_

 _The rest of it isn't. What else have you done?_ Leo sighed. He typed out a quick list of their decorating endeavours, skipping over her shameless flirting and staring. That was a little too private to share with the wife of a would-be murderer, should the need arise. _And how much have you got left to do_? Annabeth asked.

 _Kitchen and bedroom._

 _And how long has she been doing this?_

 _About a month now. That's in between gorging herself on the contents of the kitchen. I swear she's trying to bankrupt me._

 _How aren't you bankrupted yet?_

 _I'm secretly a millionaire._ He got an unimpressed emoji back. _I'll never tell_.

 _Little drug dealer._

 _Hey!_

 _Sorry, obvious choice._

 _I'm not talking to you now._

 _Good._ Leo started typing something else when a hand swung down over his head, knocking the device from his hands.

"Sleep." Louisa told him, pinching his nose lightly. Leo tipped her off, sliding in behind her. "Hand." She requested dozily. Leo put his hand in hers, letting her put it on her stomach. "Tellin' you off." She mumbled.

"I get that a lot." Leo kissed the back of her neck. The baby didn't like sharing.

* * *

Leo stood admiring his work, waiting for Louisa to waddle in. She was still three weeks from her due date, but the baby had moved, weighing down. This did not make Louisa feel any better. "I really think I've done it now. What do you think?" Louisa surveyed the room slowly, poking her fingers into her swollen tummy. Leo prayed she liked it- this was the last room, everything else had been blitzed and completely re-hauled. She had scrubbed everything down, ordered everything in the cupboards- from food to DVDs- the place smelt strongly of lemon-scented cleaner. Leo opened the windows, allowing the fresh air to blow the new curtains about, ridding the place of the paint smell. "Don't keep me in suspense, chica."

"No, it's good. But-"

"Here we go."

"Where's the blankets?" She pointed at the cot. Leo swore under his breath.

"I'd completely forgotten about that. That does remind me though- close your eyes." She did. Seconds later, something soft bumped her on the noise and Leo was talking in a weird voice. "I'm Mr. C. Uddles, here for _maximum_ cuddles!" Louisa opened an eye curiously, then the other one. A creamy brown teddy bear was dancing in front of her, smiling sweetly, adorned with a neat red ribbon.

"Mr. C. Uddles?"

"It was that or Mr. S. Nuggles." Leo shrugged. Louisa laughed. "Look, he smells like strawberries." She took the bear, squashing it against her face and inhaling deeply. "Just because he smells nice, doesn't mean you can eat him."

"Oh, shut up. I don't eat everythin'."

"The fridge begs to differ. But aside from the cot, is it OK?" She held the bear to her chest, inspecting his work again. "I even did all that baby-proofing you were worried about. And the mobile has new batteries and I've adjusted it to have a baby monitor in it. The other half is in our room, ready to go when you are. Please say something, you're making me nervous."

"It's perfect."

"Really?" Leo brightened. Flames burst into life up his arms. He hastily patted himself down.

"Especially that bit." She smirked, nodding at something past him. Leo didn't even bother looking round, pouting.

"That's your wall, cheeky mare."

"I know. But I love it. Uh, all of it, not just my bit."

"Good. I'm going on strike now." He took his tool belt off, something he never thought he would do happily, tying it around her waist. Her fingers gripped his shirt, yanking him forward for a grateful kiss. "Slave driver." Leo accused, smiling against her lips. She shushed him. Leo initiated the next kiss, hands trailing down her arms to capture hers.

She broke off first.

"I need those blankets." She remembered.

"I'm sure they can wait five minutes." Leo persisted, peppering kisses along her jawline. She squirmed, ticklish. Leo smirked.

"Blankets." She insisted. Leo sighed, raising their joined hands and pointing at the new chest of drawers.

"Second drawer on the left. All colour coordinated."

"Aww, I love you." She gave another thankful kiss, catching the corner of his mouth. Leo wasn't having that, pulling her back for a proper one. "Stop tryin' ta distract me."

"Is it working?"

"No."

"Liar." He grinned devilishly. Her eyes flashed daringly.

"Ya've got four minutes."

"Deal."

* * *

Louisa padded about the kitchen. She wasn't as much of a cook as Leo was, but she could whip up some decent sandwiches when she wanted to. Leo deserved at least that. He was kneeling in front of the television, trying to rewire everything. She had unplugged it all when they moved it, forgetting to put it all back in. Leo, being busy with everything else, had simply thought she had done it. He sat back on his heels, pressing the on button. The little blue light popped up in the corner and he smiled. "Done it!" He called.

"Sorry!"

"I'm tallying that up as a 'Mom-brain' thing."

"I will kick you."

"Where's my sandwich?" Leo asked cheekily. When she didn't answer, he forced himself up, dragging his feet to the kitchen. She was struggling to get the packet of ham open. "Need some h-?"

"No, I can do it."

"Lou-" She threw it on the counter, snatching up the knife. Leo started forward, but she stabbed it anyway. "Not everything has to be resolved with violence, you know."

"I've heard that before, but it ain't ever made much of a difference."

"Tell me about it." He scoffed, hugging her from behind. He felt to see if Bubba was kicking, frowning when he couldn't feel anything. "Where are they?"

"Right on my bladder."

"Oh." She took hold of his wrist, sliding it down a bit. "Ah, there you are." Leo smiled. "I'm convinced this baby is trying to kick me into submission. Doesn't like sharing you."

"I don't like sharin' me either."

"What?"

"What? Here. Sandwich." It wasn't the tidiest of sandwiches, but it had ham and cheese- lots of cheese- and some salt and vinegar crisps crushed in.

"You know me so well." Leo kissed her cheek, reaching round her for it. "Where's yours?" He asked around his mouthful, brushing crisp crumbs off her shoulder. Her hand smacked on the side of the counter. "Lou? Chica, what's wrong?" Leo gripped her elbow, moving round her. Her bottom lip was trembling, face scrunched up in pain. Her free hand was clutching at her stomach. "Oh gods, did-? Now?" His chest felt tight, constricting more when she shook her head.

"This mornin'. Leo, do somethin'."

"This morning? Why didn't-? It's alright, chica. No rush." He put his sandwich aside, taking her by the hands and leading her back into the living room. "You sit there, I'm going to get your bag together."

"No, _no_!" She grabbed his hand. "I can't do this, don't leave me, I can't-" Leo crouched in front of her, holding her hand in both of his.

"Yes, you can." He said firmly, kissing her fingers. "Lou, if you can agree to putting up with me for the rest of your life, I _know_ you can do this. I'm going to get your bag, I'll be two minutes and then I'll come straight back. We'll go to the hospital, the people there know what to do, you'll be OK."

"Promise you'll stay?"

"You're stuck with me, come hell and high water." He grinned. "Two minutes."

"Two minutes." She nodded, taking deep breaths.

"That's it." Leo encouraged. "Keep that up, I'll be back in a flash."

"Zoom." She said, a stray giggle breaking free. "Ow, no, that hurt. Don't do that." Leo hurried to their room. He had started getting her bag ready anyway, making sure she had nightclothes, towel, toothbrush and paste, thick pads, clean underwear. He threw in some diapers and clothes for the baby, a blanket too. He grabbed the camera as well, sticking that in his tool belt.

She was having a contraction when he came back, knuckles white from squeezing the arms of the chair so hard. Teeth gritted, eyes screwed shut. Leo kept an eye on his watch until it passed, her pained gasping striking ten past. "Can we go now?"

"Yep."

"Hospitals have drugs. They can knock me out."

"That's cheating." Leo smiled. He looped an arm around her waist, hers going around him too. Her bag hit his leg with every other step. "See, we're doing OK." He said, picking up his keys from by the door. "Just a little more to the car and then straight to the hospital. No drive-thru this time, right, chica?"

"Cheeseburger would be nice." She mumbled.

"Afterwards." Leo shook his head, smiling fondly. He talked to her all the way down, talked to her about how nice their place looked now, how their baby would grow to appreciate it, wondering if it would be a boy or a girl, suggesting a few names. He helped her strap in once in the car- she told him off for not putting his belt on right away- and then they were off. "See, we're going now. We'll be there in ten minutes, fifteen with traffic." She held her hand out. Leo took it immediately. "You're doing alright, aren't you?"

"No." She squeaked. Leo entangled their fingers, kissing her knuckles. "I'm s-scared."

"I know. You're not alone though. Put it this way- this time tomorrow, we'll be parents." She whimpered, sitting up straighter and grimacing. "Think positive, chica." Leo flicked the indicator on. "I hope Piper doesn't try to kidnap them like she does Tobias and Max."

"She has ta get past me first." Louisa growled. Leo glanced at his watch. It had been two minutes; she hadn't had another contraction yet. His knowledge on childbirth was full of holes, but he was sure Annabeth had said something about the contractions getting closer together the nearer the baby was to being born. "Leo- Leo, I need- Leo, tell me a story. A nice one."

"Um… oh! Once upon a time, there was this _unbelievably_ handsome prince. Proper ladies' man, but he was saving himself for someone extra special, looking for his Mrs. McShizzle." Louisa snorted and then groaned when the laughing hurt. "Sorry. He rode about the kingdom on his amazing bronze dragon, Happy, waving at all his fans and showering them all with autographed gifts. Team Leo was a very popular thing."

"I worry about ya delusions."

"Screw you."

"That's why we're in this mess, Valdez."

"Do you want a story or not?"

"I asked for a nice one. Not one that boosts ya ego."

"That is a nice one. For me, anyway." She scoffed. "If you think you can do better, I welcome you to it."

"The prince got his butt kicked 'n' his dragon stolen by this totally awesome chic-"

"My poor butt and dragon!" Leo pouted. "He tracked the thief down to a cabin by the sea-"

"'N' she tried ta kill him for breakin' 'n' enterin'-"

"Only to fall helplessly, head-over-heels in love with him-"

"He told stupid puns 'n' cheesy pick-up lines like no tomorrow-"

"She just couldn't keep her hands off him-"

"Oh please, I have class."

"Ha! You broke character first! I win!" Leo did a little victory dance. Louisa crushed his hand. "Hospital, right. On it. Besides, my story had a better ending." She made a noise of disbelief. "It had ice-cream in it. Flying off into the sunset, proper romantic stuff, you know."

"Ice-cream 'n' flyin' inta the sunset on the back of a robot dragon? Ya ideals on romance are whacked, Valdez."

"Firstly, he's an automaton, not a robot. Secondly, yours aren't much better- your idea of flirting involves trying to kill me."

"It makes sense."

"To crazy people." He muttered, getting the bones in his hand reduced to dust for that. "Hospital. Do they have a maternity bit on the psychiatric ward?"

"I could punch ya right now."

"Not the face."


	8. Chapter 8

It had been an hour. Her contractions were twenty minutes apart. Leo hadn't left her side, helping her move about the room. She hated being confined to the bed, especially if she didn't need to; the nurse had measured her at two centimetres dilated. "Still a while yet." She had said.

"How long does this take?" Louisa pleaded.

"It differs." The nurse replied kindly. "Baby could be born this evening or in a few days." Louisa stared at her in disbelief. "Each case is different, but you're doing really well so far. First child?" She asked of Leo. He nodded, adjusting his hold on his wife as she leant on him more.

"Is there anyway ya can check if they're OK?" Louisa was close to tears. "Leo, sorry, but I can't… not another Bradley, I can't…"

"I understand, chica. Is there a way?"

"We can do a quick scan, check the baby's heartbeat, if you want."

"Yes." Louisa said instantly. "Heartbeat is good, I need that."

"Give me a few minutes to set it up." The nurse smiled. "May as well get comfortable." She nodded at the bed and took her leave. Louisa cursed at this, looking to Leo.

"I'm right here." He assured. It took a lot of manoeuvring and agonising to get her back on the bed. Leo sat next to her, keeping her wrapped in his arms. The nurse returned as Louisa settled back against the pillows. She worked quickly, setting the scan up deftly. Louisa sat with her eyes closed, trembling.

"Baby's quite low," the nurse commented, fiddling with a dial on the monitor. A quick thudding filled the room, flooding tears of relief down Louisa's cheeks, "nice strong heartbeat though." Her hand jolted and she laughed. "Kicking the scanner- seems to me like you've got a little fighter in there."

"Just like their mama." Leo said proudly. "Kicking me the whole time, let me tell you. Does _not_ like sharing."

"They're OK." Louisa sobbed, pulling on Leo's sleeve. "Leo, they're OK."

"I told you they would be. Thank you." He nodded at the nurse. Louisa spouted several thank you's, Leo trapped in her arms as she cried into his chest.

"Just call if you need anything." The nurse left again.

"They're OK, they're OK, they're OK…" Louisa was chanting to herself. Leo helped her up again, holding her hands as they paced the room slowly. He had his arms round her when the next contraction hit.

"Eighteen minutes." He said. "Slightly less. That's encouraging." She nodded, pressing her back to his front, gripping his hands down either side of her, elbows locked. "I feel like a penguin." Leo mused, getting a small laugh and then a slap on his leg from her for making her laugh/hurt. "What noise does a penguin make? Waddle waddle, here we go."

"I will kill you."

"Later. Kill me later." He suggested. "In the meantime, we have waddling to do."

* * *

Five hours later, she was four centimetres dilated. Her patience was wearing thin. It was nearing the early hours of the morning and they were both exhausted. They alternated between walking the room, playing charades and- in Louisa's case- grumbling foul curses on the bed; in Leo's case, downing his eighth cup of coffee and feeling like a hoard of bees had been released in his head. "It's a duck." He said as a guess to her charade.

"No. It's a book."

"Oh. Is it a book about a duck?"

"It's got nothin' ta do with ducks."

"That's a shame. I like ducks." She shook her head at him, bundling her pillow to her face as a contraction tore through her midriff. They were getting stronger, now fifteen minutes between them. "Do you want some coffee? I've drunk most of the pot, but you can have some if you want."

"For the twelfth time, I don't want _coffee_."

"Sorry." Leo stood and clambered over the bed, sitting next to her. "Want to walk again?" She nodded. He took her by the arms, standing behind her again. "Was it a penguin, your book?"

"Nothin' ta do with birds." They moved together, left foot, right foot, left foot. "It's a book 'n' a film."

"Harry Potter."

"We've had Harry Potter three times- all yours."

"There's seven books. Eight films. I haven't covered them all yet." She sighed. "Lord of the Rings?"

"No."

"Um…"

"Stephen King."

"You read Stephen King?"

"Audio book. Annabeth gave it to me."

"Is it that one we watched the other day? With the phone virus?" Louisa nodded. "That was messed up- two minutes in and you had some crazy girl smashing her brains out against a brick wall. Stephen King is a genius and a madman. What do you think of Bibiana?"

"Who?"

"Name. For a girl. Bibi for short."

"It's alright." He could hear the frown in her tone. "Sorry, Valdez, it don't fit."

"Would you like boys' names or girls' names?"

"Uh… both."

"Give me a letter."

"W." The frown had been replaced with a smirk. Leo saw this as a challenge and playfully bit her shoulder.

"Winona or Wally."

"You're a wally."

"Takes one to know one." He blew a raspberry. Her elbow bumped his ribs. "I've got more names. I've got _loads_. See?" He let go of her hand, reaching into his pocket. A bit of paper was passed forward, covered in what could only be every possible name.

"These are all Hispanic."

"Those are the best names."

"Dear gods…" Louisa shook her head. He had even alphabetised it. "When did ya do this?"

"When you fell asleep in your pizza the other night. I like that one." He pointed. Louisa took a minute to cipher through her dyslexia. "Adabella." He said proudly. "Or Benedito, if it's a boy. I thought Leandra or Leandro were pretty good too. There." He indicated his scribblings. Louisa was reading them off to herself, tutting when she saw Donatello. "I've a cousin called Raphael; figured I may as well try and get the whole set."

"You dork. I hope Lahahana ain't a serious suggestion, Valdez."

"But it sounds like a laugh. You know, he's tearing about the park, Lahahana, get down, your name is funny." She shook her head again, smiling bemusedly. "Do you like any of them?"

"Some, but I ain't sure. Um…" She glanced over her shoulder.

"What?"

"Well… I was thinkin', um… maybe… maybe Esperanza." Leo faltered. Louisa's expression softened and her hand covered his. "Sorry. I just… thought it would be a nice idea."

" _Mi madre._ " Leo said quietly. " _No mi hija_." He felt her shoulders slouch. "It… was, is a nice idea, chica, but…"

"I was just tryin' ta do somethin' nice, I swear, I thought ya'd be happy I suggested ya mom's name."

"I am."

"Tell ya face that then, stupid."

"It… it just hurts."

"Childbirth hurts. 'N' I ain't even got that far yet."

"Different kind of hurt." She half-turned towards him, relying on him for support. Her hand came up to touch his face, but she still held the sheet, brushing it over his nose cheekily. Leo puffed at it, knocking it out of her loose grip and into her face. He got the giggles about that. "Te amo."

"Te amo too." Louisa shook the paper off. Leo caught it.

"I just thought of a really good name-"

"If you say Leo Junior, I ain't puttin' you on the birth certificate."

"Rude." Leo stayed quiet. Louisa rolled her eyes, turning back around to resume their penguin walking. She stamped on Leo's foot when he started muttering 'waddle waddle' under his breath. Leo limped after that, grumbling something ruder. She didn't know _all_ his Spanish swears.

* * *

"Six centimetres." The nurse informed, adjusting the blankets to cover Louisa up again.

"What?" Louisa demanded. "Ya kiddin' right? It's been… Valdez, how long's it been?"

"Sixteen hours."

"This does happen." The nurse nodded. "Like I said, it's different for every mother."

"Can't ya just smoke it out or somethin'?"

"Um… no."

"Leo, that weren't funny, shut up."

"Sorry." Leo snickered. The nurse gave him a bemused smile and left. Louisa waited until her footsteps disappeared down the hall before unleashing the longest string of foulest words Leo had ever heard her say- if the walls could talk, they would be washing their own mouths out with a truckload of soap. "If my baby grows up to swear like you, I'm filing for divorce."

"Fight me." Louisa challenged instantly. "Ain't got nothin' else ta do. Sixteen _fuckin'_ hours, Leo. Why don't they wanna come out? I mean, our president is a total bag of shitdicks-"

"You're not over that, are you?"

"No I'm fuckin' not! The economy is shit, stupid fat men are in power, he can't even look after his own fuckin' hair, how the fuck is he gonna run a country?"

"Since when did you pay so much attention to politics?" She stayed quiet. "Please tell me you weren't going to assassinate the president?"

"It crossed my mind. Once or twice. Dozen times at most. Ish. You don't like him either!"

"Yes, but I like my wife being with me rather than in a maximum-security cell for killing the president of the United States!"

"I'll break out."

"Oh really?"

"Bitch. Daughter of _Poseidon_. I bring buildin's _down_. Ain't no-one keepin' me locked up again."

"I like the enthusiasm, chica, but this just brings me back to my earlier question- are we _sure_ there isn't a maternity bit on the psychiatric ward?"

"I think the morgue's near there, somewhere you'll be goin' if ya don't shut up."

"I feel the love." Leo deadpanned. Louisa stuck her tongue out. Leo edged towards her, squinting at her cautiously.

"I ain't gonna kill ya just yet." She sighed, waving him over. Leo beamed and took a seat next to her. He kissed her forehead and then leant down to talk to the bump.

"Come on, Bubba, we've waited a long time for this. Stop being so stubborn and come out already." Louisa grabbed his shoulder in a vice-like grip as another contraction struck. Leo held onto her, tighter still when this one made her cry out.

Once it passed, he carried on talking to his baby. "They can hear us, right?" Louisa nodded. "Good. Now, as your _padre_ , I'm pulling rank and telling you to come out right now. Or in the next hour at least. I've run out of coffee and your mama won't let me have anymore."

"You started hallucinatin'."

"Did not." He ran a hand gently over her stomach. "It's nice out here really." He told them. "You wait until you have pizza for the first time. Well worth it. And we completely redecorated our home for you. Your mama was _nesting_. Annabeth told me that, I forgot to tell you. _Nesting_. You really are a penguin."

* * *

They hit the twenty-hour mark. Louisa was set on suing the hospital and everyone in it, split between screaming and crying uncontrollably. At one point, she was lying across the bed having an existential crisis. Leo lay next to her, humming gently to himself. "Ducks are greedy." Louisa said. "They can fly 'n' swim 'n' walk on land. They're too talented, Leo. It's like if cats had thumbs- ducks could take over the world."

"We can… ward them off with bread."

"But the cats, Leo."

"Don't cats eat ducks?"

"What if they teamed up though? Humans won't stand a chance."

"We're not human." Leo reminded her.

"What does the make Bubba then?"

"Messed up."

"She's not a Jackson." Louisa pouted.

"She?"

"Or maybe he. Five bucks on a girl."

"I was going to say that." Leo sighed. She held her hand out and they shook on it. "We should adopt some ducks. Then we can train them to be the duck revolution." She nodded. Her fingers locked around his, sharp pains rocketing through her middle.

"Oooh, ya gettin' a vasectomy." She growled, leaning into his side.

"Excuse me?" Leo made a face. "You get a vasectomy." Her chest heaved, contraction calming. Her eyes narrowed at him, breathing hard. "I've just realised you can't get a vasectomy. Get the ladies' vasectomy. My head hurts. I need caffeine." A scowl crossed her lips and she glowered up at the ceiling. Leo made to say something else, feeling his phone buzz in his pocket. "Hallo?"

"Where the _hell_ are you?" Percy's angry voice jumped out at him. Leo instantly held the phone at arm's length, hissing.

"What?" Louisa quizzed.

"I-forgot-to-tell-Percy-where-we-are."

"Idiot."

"I panicked. Um, Percy? Don't kill me, but we're at the hospital."

"Is Lou OK?"

"If by OK you mean been in labour for nearly twenty-one hours and only- what was it? Seven centimetres dilated and seriously considering a duck revolution, then yes. She's spiffing." Leo rubbed at his eyes. "Bring coffee." He pleaded. "Please don't kill me."

"Give me twenty minutes." Percy sighed. "I'm not going to kill you, but you're definitely getting a smack upside the head."

"As long as I get coffee, five sugars, little milk, I don't care." Percy hung up. "Good news. I might not die today."

"Hoorah." Louisa said flatly.

* * *

Percy arrived half an hour later, bearing a large flask of coffee. Leo sipped it tentatively at first. "Oh my gods, you make the best coffee." He took a larger swig.

"Lou?" Percy moved carefully to his sister's side. Louisa was standing, leaning with her hands on the bed. She was struggling to catch her breath, red-faced, a layer of perspiration making her hair stick to her face. "Hey." Percy gently removed the hairband from the straggling remains of her ponytail. He did his best to retie it, a clumsy ponytail with hair that desperately needed brushing, but at least it wasn't in her face.

"I hate this." Louisa told him. "Kill him for me."

"No, don't kill him for her!" Leo waved his hand frantically. "Kill me for her- _don't_ kill me for her… however that works, but no killing anyone. I've been helping you. Traitor." Percy looked to his twin. She huffed grumpily.

"Yeah, he's been penguining with me."

"Uh…" Percy said brilliantly. Leo downed another mouthful of heavenly caffeine. Louisa flapped a hand at him. Leo was losing feeling in his hands, waddling with her about the room again. He got told off if he said 'waddle waddle' aloud, reciting it over and over in his mind instead. Percy perched himself on the edge of the bed, arms folded. "You guys are strange."

"It helps." Leo said. "She likes moving around." Louisa nodded in agreement.

"How far apart are the contractions?" Leo peered over his wife's shoulder, twisting their hands to check his watch.

"About ten minutes. If I'm right, she should have one in… three minutes." Louisa swore at him again. "What was Annabeth like?"

"She didn't move as much, but we were there for about… six hours? I think Max was roughly five. How did the nesting go?"

"Annabeth told _him_. Why didn't ya tell me?"

"I forgot."

"Who's got the Mom-brain now? Doofus." Leo and Louisa swapped competitive looks, sticking their tongues out simultaneously. "Proper nice now, bro. I did a good job." Leo protested wordlessly instantly. "No-one asked your opinion. Pee-pee pants."

"I'm sorry, I'm still new to this whole Leoisa thing, but…" Percy laughed anxiously, "pee-pee pants?"

"She turned the shower on me."

"Liar."

"Says you!"

"Ooh, 'nother one, 'nother one!" Louisa put her weight back, pushing down on Leo's hands. "Ya said three minutes!" She scolded through gritted teeth. "Ow, ow, ow-" She swore bitterly. Seconds passed and she exhaled slowly, quivering from top to toe. "Percy, is there any way of speedin' this up?"

"Um…"

"Oh, you're useless."

"Don't take it personally." Leo nodded.

"I do know, Leo."

"Oh. Right. Nevermind then." Leo helped Louisa back to the bed. She plonked her head on her brother's shoulder, swiping irritably at her face. Leo went for his coffee, but Percy didn't let him have it. "What kind of _sick_ person gives a man desperately needed coffee and then takes it away?"

"Leo, get some sleep."

"But-"

"No, I'll stay with Lou. You get some sleep so when the baby's born-"

"In fifty years." Louisa interjected darkly.

"-you're rested enough to look after them while Lou sleeps. Sis, you will not be giving birth to a fifty-year-old baby, that's just physically impossible." Louisa stayed mute. "Leo." Percy warned, snapping his fingers and directing Leo to the chair. Leo still hesitated. Percy fixed a stern look on him.

"OK." Leo mumbled. "Wake me if anything happens though."

"Will do." Percy promised. Leo curled up in the chair, swiping one of the pillows from the bed. He was asleep within seconds. "At what point did you tell him to get a vasectomy?"

"How'd you-?"

"Annabeth said that to me too."

"Good choice." She shifted awkwardly, hand on stomach. "Nurse said they were low. If they're so low, why ain't they out yet?"

"It's warm in there."

"But there's pizza out here."

"Um…" Percy couldn't see any pizza, but decided not to question it. "Maybe next time, get a puppy. Annabeth said he buys you sunflowers."

"I like sunflowers."

"He's good to you, right?" Percy worried. Louisa tipped her head the other way, whining.

"Drop the protective big brother thing for five seconds, _please_."

"I want to know." He persisted. Louisa sighed. Percy drummed his fingers on his arm. "Annabeth said talking about him made you blush. Several times. Not a typical Lou thing." He got a sideways glower for that. "To be honest, I stuck my fingers in my ears, but… I… _do_ want to hear it from you. What is it about Leo that made you agree to all… this?" He gestured at her, her stomach. Louisa looked round. Percy saw her expression soften, a tiny smile lighting the corners of her mouth. He looked too. Leo wasn't his type, but… he could see why his sister liked him.

"It was easy." She told him. "Like I said ta Beth, I lost the point where friendship 'n' relationship met, but it don't matter." She shrugged. "I've got a best friend 'n' a husband in one. I just don't particularly like him at the moment. Percy, why is this takin' so long? I wanna go home." She complained.

"Only three more centimetres. You could be out of here by this afternoon."

"By next year, ya mean."

"Still not physically possible. Look, it's been their home for eight-ish months. They're not going to want to come out easily. Especially if it's a Valdez."

"What does that mean?" She frowned.

"You're all drama queens."

"Shut up. Stupid, messed-up Jackson. Five bucks say it's a girl."

"Deal." Percy smiled. Louisa grimaced in response.

* * *

Percy was still there six and a half hours later. Leo was awake, drinking cold coffee, bleary-eyed. Louisa only had two centimetres to go now. Her patience had completely run out now, using her pillow as a punching bag. Percy and Leo were taking it in turns to walk about the room with her. They weren't allowed to both leave. Louisa tried keeping Leo here, but he started doing a funny little dance. Percy managed to talk his sister round, laughing at Leo's idiocy. This resulted in Percy being errand boy. He was allowed- ordered- to leave for food and drink- more coffee for Leo- covering loo breaks. He had Louisa eat a chocolate muffin, but she only managed half of it. Her contractions were three minutes apart now. Leo took this as good news, unable to sit still. Percy was feeling highly excited himself, couldn't stop smiling. His niece or nephew wasn't far off now!

"Maybe I should just push now." Louisa moaned.

"No. Not a good idea." Percy advised. "Don't push until you really need to."

"I really want to."

"No. Need to, not want to. There's a difference. Tell me what names you've picked."

"We haven't." Leo pouted into his empty coffee cup. "There's a few we like, but nothing definite. She's very choosy." He pointed an accusing finger at his wife.

"I have _rights_." Louisa defied instantly. "Fight me." She added when Leo made a rude hand gesture. She heard a faint buzzing emitting from her brother.

"It's Annabeth." Percy said. "Hello, Wise-girl." He smiled.

"How's it going? Is Lou alright?" Percy filled her in, pinching the bridge of his nose. "That baby has its mother's stubborn streak." Percy nodded, realised she couldn't see and made a noise of agreement. "Tobias keeps asking where you are- he hasn't quite grasped the concept of a cousin."

"Is Daddy on hello?" Percy heard.

"It's a phone, Tobias, not a hello. Do you want to talk to Daddy?"

"Please! Hello, Daddy!"

"Hello, trouble." Percy grinned.

"Daddy, where you?"

"I'm with Aunty Lou."

"Why?"

"Because we're waiting for your cousin."

"Whazzat?"

"It's like a brother or sister, except it's not. It's my sister's baby, your Aunty Lou's baby."

"Aunty Lou have baby?" Tobias gasped. "What baby name? See baby? Please!"

"Baby's not here yet, Tobias, but soon."

"It had better be." Louisa growled. Percy smiled at her and then handed the phone over. "Hey, Squirtface." Louisa got caught with her nephew's crazy babbling, envisioning him doing his little happy dance. This was going to be a long phone call.


	9. Chapter 9

It was another eleven hours and nine- precisely nine minutes- before anything truly exciting happened. Percy and Leo were still there, tallying the grand total of labour hours to thirty-eight. And twenty-four minutes. Leo was insistent on the twenty-four minutes. He stood on Louisa's left, Percy on her right, both of them having their hands completely _annihilated._ Louisa was part-screaming, part-crying, part-swearing-like-a-trooper, (although that last one was entirely unsurprising).

"Oooh, why can't storks bring the babies?" She wailed, collapsing on the pillows. "It'd be so much easier." Leo and Percy flipped each other agreeable looks. "Are you sure ya can't knock me out 'n' just pull it?"

"Lou!"

"Don't worry," the midwife smiled, "we get that sort of thing often."

"Leo, you do it, I don't wanna do it."

"You're nearly there, Lou. Last bit."

"I'm _tired_." The last word came out on a broken sob. Percy shushed her gently, brushing her hair back from her damp forehead. "Percy, lovely, dearest, charmin' brother-"

"I can't do it for you."

"I hate you all."

"OK, you need to push again."

"Noooo." Louisa shook her head.

"The sooner you push, the sooner the baby is out." The midwife said calmly. "Deep breath- husband, deep breaths."

"Why me?" Leo puzzled. Percy flicked him in the head.

"You're supposed to be moral support for your wife." Leo flicked him back.

"You can do deep breaths as well then, _brother_."

"Fine."

"Ya'll weird." Louisa insisted, breathing erratically. Percy and Leo deepened and evened out their breathing, encouraging her to do the same.

"Now _push_." The midwife instructed. Louisa screamed, almost doubling over. "That's it! Keep going, nice breathing, gents."

"I feel lightheaded." Leo went cross-eyed.

"You're doing it wrong." Percy teased. Louisa cried and fell back.

"Not… the time… for you two… ta get so buddy-buddy. I can't breathe."

"I can see the head." The midwife announced.

"Great… grab it 'n' pull."

"Lou…" Percy warned. Louisa told him to go away in her usual civil manner. Leo smirked at his brother-in-law.

"One last _big_ push, Louisa. You can do it."

"I hate every single one of ya." It was another minute of screaming and crying and telling all men to get vasectomies before a new sound filled the air. Louisa sagged on the bedding again, panting. Percy tended to his sister- Leo was distracted. He had gone a funny grey colour, a splash of scarlet staining his bottom lip. "Uh oh…" Louisa sighed. "Leo. Oy. Valdez. Will you- ooh, I don't feel well…" A chill crawled over Percy's skin, emptying into his stomach with a leaden weight.

"Lou-" He said. Louisa's eyes found his, hazy, heavy-lidded. "No, no, Lou, stay awake."

"But so tired…"

"Lou?" Leo grabbed her hand. The next thing they knew, they were being ushered out the room. "No wait!" Leo argued. "We said we wouldn't leave, you can't-" The door swung shut. "No!" His hands yanked on his hair, oblivious to the steady torrent of tears. "Percy, they can't- Lou needs us, we have to- do something, Percy, please do something-"

"Leo. Leo, look at me." Percy grabbed his friend by the shoulders. "Try and focus on me, OK? Listen to what I'm saying- Lou will be _fine_. She's much too stubborn for anything otherwise. She just needs some help getting back to it, that's all."

"This is all my fault." Leo cried.

"No, don't think that. Give it five minutes, she'll be out here, kicking our butts for being stupid enough to worry, word for word, you'll see."

"What if-?" Percy shook his head, silencing him. "Percy, I'm sorry-"

"Me too, Leo, me too. But it _will_ be OK."

"Promise?"

"Course." Percy smiled. Leo sniffed, lunging forward to hug Percy. Neither of them expected it, but accepted it all the same. "You're so small." Percy teased, squeezing Leo about the shoulders. "Perfect height for Lou though. I wonder how tall the baby will be."

"Oh gods, the baby…" Leo tensed. "I didn't see them."

"We heard them though. Deep breaths, buddy, think positive."

"Positive. Right. You can sense if Lou's in trouble, can't you? Is she alright? She has to be alright, I can't without her, I can't!" The earlier creeping chill had left, probably chased away by Leo's abnormally high body temperature. Thinking of his sister, Percy could feel a slight pulse of irritation, feeling as if his limbs were suddenly full of concrete.

"She's very _very_ tired."

"But OK?" Leo perked up slightly. Percy delved a little deeper.

"Fighting through." He confirmed seconds later, relief loosening tension in his shoulders he didn't realise he had. Leo sighed, collapsing into a chair. He dropped his head in his hands. Percy seated himself next to him, laying a brotherly hand on his back. "Told you so."

The door opened beside them. The midwife came out, cradling a tiny pink bundle.

"I owe Lou five bucks." Percy and Leo acknowledged, shooting each curious looks. "We might need to do something about her gambling." Leo said. Percy hummed, nodding in agreement.

"Here you go, Mr. Valdez. One healthy baby girl." The midwife smiled. Leo held his hands up and then he had the baby, _his_ baby, his _daughter_.

"Oooh, I suddenly feel really responsible, this is scary." Leo whimpered. Percy laughed, leaning over to have a look at his niece. She was far smaller than Tobias or Max had been- not much of a surprise considering her parents- wrinkling her tiny nose and mewling. "No, no, ssh," Leo said gently, "no crying with _Padre_. 'Cos if you cry, I'm going to cry and that's not the first thing you want to see in this world, trust me." He tipped the folds of the blanket down with his finger, unable to stop himself from smiling. "Percy, look. She's so real."

"Duh."

"You know what I mean." The tot's eyes were shut, snuffling slightly, tiny pink mouth open in a miniscule 'o' shape. Her delicate little fingers appeared from under the blanket; Leo helped her get her hand free and then she grasped onto his pinkie. Tufts of curly raven hair spattered on her head, some falling onto her lightly elfish ears. "How can something so small cause so much trouble?"

"I asked myself that holding Tobias for the first time." The door opened again. "Lou!" Percy beamed.

"Ya'll leavin' me for?"

"Told you told you told _you_!" Percy sang happily, flicking Leo in the head again. He jumped up, all for crushing his sister in a hug. Her face told him otherwise, so he settled for a really careful hug instead. "What happened?"

"I wobbled. I'm fine."

"Louisa, could you come back here?" A nurse called.

"No. I'm up now."

"But we still need to do some tests-"

"I'm _up_ now. What's wrong with Leo's face?"

"He's happy, Lou."

"Oh. Right." She took a step towards her husband. Her leg gave out instantly. Percy caught her, her fingers digging into his arm as her head span.

"Maybe you should stay on the bed for a bit. Leo, follow."

Once settled back in the room, Percy left them to it. He took up his seat in the corridor, ringing Annabeth to divulge the good news.

"Lou, are you sure you're OK?"

"Relatively." Louisa muttered. The medical staff were still working around her, running a few tests, ignoring her protests. It was another twenty minutes before they felt secure enough to leave her be. She immediately held her hands out, grabbing at the air. Leo didn't understand at first, starting when she frowned. "How'd ya hold her?"

"Like this." Leo adjusted her arms slightly. "See, not so bad."

"She looks like you. Poor mite."

"Oy! You're definitely feeling better, cheeky moo. Besides, she looks like you." A slither of blue appeared under the baby's eyelids. "I wonder if that will change. Aww, she's looking at you!"

"Hello, ya little parasite." Louisa smiled. "I will forever hold a grudge that it took ya _thirty-eight_ hours to get out." Leo tutted. " _After_ ," Louisa continued, shooting him a 'be quiet' frown, "eight 'n' a half months of carryin' you around." The baby's eyes were open now, staring blearily up at Louisa, creasing at the corners when she yawned. "Ya've literally been on this planet two minutes, you ain't got no reason ta be tired." Leo rolled his eyes.

"You did it." He said softly.

"Eventually. Just gotta do this bit now." With Louisa grumbling at the baby, Leo took this as an ample opportunity to snap some pictures. However, he forgot the flash was on, startling his daughter. "Leo!" Louisa reprimanded. Leo squeaked an apology, hastily fumbling with the camera. The infant wailed, fresh cries of a newborn ricocheting off the walls. Louisa gently shushed her, bouncing her carefully and patting her back. "No cryin', lil' parasite. It's just ya dad bein' an idiot. You'll get used ta it." Leo managed to capture a photo without the flash. Louisa was shaking her head at him, biting her lip to hold back laughter.

"Sorry." Leo said again. "Long night."

"Tell me about it. Yeah, I know," she pouted at the baby, "he is a stupid butthead. We'll beat him up, yes we will."

"Oy, no picking on _Padre_." Leo wrinkled his nose at her. "What are we going to call her?"

"Parasite suits her." Louisa shrugged a shoulder. Leo tutted disapprovingly. "I'd say fight me, but I hurt. Your fault. 'N' if ya say 'two ta tango', I'm callin' Percy back in ta lamp ya one." Leo whimpered. "Aw, you're adorable, I love you." He said nothing, confusion trekking through his brain like an ever-growing fungus. "What's wrong?" Her brow furrowed. Leo hunched his shoulders. Louisa patted the bed beside her, glaring when he didn't instantly move. Leo sat next to her sheepishly, toying quietly with the camera. "Valdez, talk ta me." Her hand covered his, soothing the shakes.

"We're going to be good with this, right?"

"Parentin'?"

"And, uh… and us?"

"Ya better not be plannin' on leavin', Valdez. Not after thirty-eight hours of _ow_."

"No, no, I'd never- you know I won't, I can see it in your eyes. Cow." Louisa snorted like a pig, drawing an anxious giggle from him. "I'm just… absolutely _terrified_ I'm going to screw this up."

"Me too. But I'm sure we can manage. Ain't that right, little parasite? We'll try not ta mess ya up too much, yes we will." The baby had stopped crying now, staring at Louisa instead. "It's so weird you're on the outside now, Bubba. I feel kinda empty."

"That does not give you a reason to pig on more burgers." This time, she mooed. Leo's reaction was less nervous this time, earning a triumphant grin from the new farmyard impressionist. "I still think Bibiana is a good name. Bibi suits her." Louisa was shaking her head. "What?"

"No, she looks like an 'E'."

"An 'E'?" Leo raised a brow. "She looks like a baby to me, but if you say so."

"She needs an 'E' name."

"Like what?"

"Esperanza." Leo grimaced. "Fine. Uh… Emily. Elliot. No, that's a boys' name. Ellie. No, don't like Ellie- I used ta know an Ellie, never liked her. Kinda tainted the name."

"Elsie."

"Elsie!" Louisa beamed. "'N' I was gonna call you Elliot. Oooh, Elsie is perfect! Glad I thought of it."

"Flipping cheek!"

"Alright, alright. Glad _we_ thought of it." She smiled cheekily, pinching his chin in her hand when he mock-sulked. "Elsie Bibiana Valdez. You can call her Bibi if ya want, but her name is Elsie." Leo grinned.

"I love you."

"Of course you do." She said smugly, kissing his cheek. "Now, if ya don't mind, I want ta sleep." Leo tucked his hands under the small pink bundle. Louisa wiggled down in the bed and was out like a light in thirty seconds.

" _Hola, mi hija_." Leo whispered, holding Elsie up to get a proper look at her little face. Her eyes were as blue as the ocean on a sunny day, fixated on his with an infantile curiosity. "We'll look after you," he vowed, "we will make a mess doing it, but we'll look after you proper good. I'll teach you Spanish, your mama can teach you to fight. I bet you'll love that." Elsie yawned, waving her arms in tiny baby jerky movements. Her fingers splayed on her left hand, eyelids drooping. Leo cradled her to his chest, eyes burning as she snuggled against him. "Something tells me you're going to be just like your mama. If you try to eat me out of house and home, there will be consequences, young lady. And by consequences, I mean total bankruptcy." A timid knock on the door. Leo could see Percy through the window. A second later, Tobias was there, squishing his hands and face on the glass. Leo waved at him and Percy pushed the door open.

"Quietly, Tobias." Leo heard Annabeth say. "Hey." She smiled, voice low. "Percy said it went on for _ever_. How are you doing?"

"I'm a _padre_." Leo told her.

"I can see that." Annabeth smiled. Tobias appeared on Leo's other side.

"I see, I see!" He threw his hands up. Leo slid off the bed and crouched in front of the toddler. "She look like baby elf!"

"Thanks, kid." Leo messed his hair. Tobias pulled on his arm, standing tiptoe to better see his cousin.

"Hello!" He hissed. "I'm Tobias! Who you?"

"Do you have a name?" Annabeth asked eagerly.

"Elsie." Leo said. "My idea. Lou tried taking credit." Leo smiled down at the snoozing bundle. "Elsie Bibiana."

"Bibiana?" Percy tilted his head. "Is that Spanish?" Leo nodded. "Suits her."

"See, I said that." Leo and Percy high-fived. And then Percy was holding his niece.

"She's so small compared to the boys. Max, look." His four-month old son wobbled his head, giving a gummy smile. He was in a sling on his mother's back, occasionally bumping his cheek on her shoulder. "They're going to grow up together." Percy realised enthusiastically, "how cool is that?" He grinned at his wife. She managed a small smile, Max dribbling on her shoulder.

"My turn." She said. "Take your sons away."

"You love them really." Percy smiled.

"Me too, me too!" Tobias jumped between his parents, waving his hands over his head. "Love me too!"

"How can we not?" Annabeth laughed, closing her hands around his. Tobias stood on her feet, giggling as they padded about the room.

* * *

Percy took the boys and Leo for an ice-cream run. Elsie was back in her cot, dozing peacefully. Her mother was still asleep, albeit fitfully. Annabeth sat in the chair at her bedside, humming to herself as she doodled on the cover of a magazine. She glanced up when Louisa started awake.

"Wh-?"

"You're in the hospital." Annabeth said kindly. "Remember?"

"I… yeah. Yeah, I- I remember." Louisa's gaze fell on the newborn. "Where's Leo?"

"With Percy. They'll be back in a bit." She comforted. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I was torn in half."

"Preach." Annabeth tossed the magazine aside. "Figured I'd talk to you about post-pregnancy care though."

"I know ya bleed. Like, a lot." Louisa grimaced. Annabeth nodded.

"For about six weeks. How are you going to feed Elsie?"

"Bottle."

"Well, everything else still goes."

"How'd ya feed the boys?"

"Tobias was bottle-fed. Max picks and chooses."

"Can't stop it, can I?"

"No." Annabeth curled her feet up under her. "I'll warn you now- if you've got any questions, don't hesitate to ask, OK? I'm not going to think any less of you for asking." Annabeth waited for Louisa to nod, explaining slowly and carefully. Louisa didn't interrupt once, her attention didn't waver unless Elsie made a noise. Annabeth was quite impressed, elaborating when and where she felt she needed to, gauging her sister-in-law's expressions. When she finished, nearly half an hour later, she could see Louisa's mind going behind the sea green, slowly processing all Annabeth had said.

"Is it bad if she's bottle-fed?"

"No."

"What do I do?"

"I can give you some of the formula Max has, it's great for new babies and helps them keep it down too. Yes, they will be sick. If they are, don't panic. Babies have sensitive stomachs." Louisa shifted uncomfortably, lifting the sheets up. She yelped.

"What's that?" She panicked.

"Probably the placenta."

"The what now?"

"That kept your baby fed and oxygenated."

"Ew. Thank you, but still ew. Why-? No, ya said about that. I need a bath." Her gaze travelled around the room. "They have baths, right?" Annabeth laughed. "I'll go when Leo comes back."

"I can watch her." Annabeth offered. She tried not to feel hurt when Louisa hesitated. "If I can handle two Jackson boys, I'm sure I can handle a Valdez."

"We're a bit different." Louisa mumbled, picking at her lip. "What do I do about-?" She gestured at the bedding. "It's ew."

"I'll talk to the nurses for you."

"Sorry."

"Lou, it's natural. Hey, why- why are you crying?" Annabeth stood, placing a sisterly arm around her.

"I don't know." She sniffed, rubbing at her eyes. "Stop cryin', Lou," she reprimanded herself, "ain't no reason ta cry."

"I think you have every reason." Annabeth smiled. "After thirty-eight hours of labour, I'd be crying too."

"Percy said yours only last five-six-ish hours. Lucky cow."

"Maybe next time it won't be as bad."

" _Next time_?" Louisa hissed. "Now there's a reason ta cry. One thing at a time, Blondie. Firstly, bath time." Louisa used the bed as leverage, easing herself up, muttering 'ow ow ow' over and over. She wobbled dangerously. Annabeth grabbed her arm, standing her upright.

"OK?"

"As best I can be. Where is the bathroom? Should've asked before I got up, but where is it?"

* * *

 **My knowledge on child-birth and post-child-birth are holey, so excuse any inaccuracies! I'm trying! ^_^**


End file.
